The Innkeeper

Chapter 1379  Folklore realm

"Jack calm down!" Tiny-Sparkles yelled in disbelief. Who would have thought that there would be such a day that Tiny-Sparkles would be telling others to calm down?

The problem with Tiny-Sparkles yelling at his fairy friend to calm down was that as a unicorn with dwarfism, he had somehow mutated into being more powerful than almost any other unicorn he had ever come across.

That immense power permeated into every essence of his being, which meant that when Tiny-Sparkles, the unicorn a mere few inches large, spoke, his voice was so deep it reverberated across the land, often causing earthquakes.

Fortunately, Jack had used enchantments on Tiny-Sparkles, weakening him, allowing the unicorn to control himself. Unfortunately, due to their current unusual predicament, that enchantment had worn off. So when the unicorn yelled, trying his best to calm down their captain, his voice shattered the ground beneath their feet, revealing a vast open sky underneath them.

After all, they were on an island, formed of the usual stuff such as dirt, rock and whatever else islands were made of. Oh, it was also floating up on a cloud, far above the planet underneath.

Well, the island really couldn't really be said to be floating anymore due to the inadvertent actions of a particular baby, crystal alligator whose very touch turned anything and everything to crystal.

Only recently had Jack taught him to stop crystallizing the air itself, but upon seeing the vast sea of clouds upon which the island floated, the alligator jumped in, turning the clouds to crystal, causing them to become too heavy to float, and therefore fall along with the island.

Although Tiny-Sparkles himself hadn't seen the event, by all accounts, that had happened before Jack went on a raging rampage against the giant who had used his powers and enlarged the Jolly Rancher to the size of what Jack called the Statue of Liberty.

Now, Tiny-Sparkles had not really traveled much, and had not seen any such statue, but it was clear to him that the Jolly Rancher was much too big for their tiny - literally tiny - pirate crew to use. n/ô/vel/b//jn dot c//om

"Oh lawd!" wailed Bob, the leather jacket wearing Drama-cat that Jack had rescued and befriended some time ago, as he rode a heavy bike much too large for him across the massive deck of the Jolly Rancher. "Oh lawd, have mercy on this world that has provoked the captain's ire! The captain's heart is boundless, like the open horizon, and his love endless, like the itchiness of a mosquito bite! But more so than anything, his anger is righteous! It is a benevolence I regret I cannot face, and so to those who face it, grant mercy. You are too good to me lawd, too good!"

From his horn, Tiny-Sparkles shot out a rainbow colored beam that swiftly morphed into a chocolate-spread covered piece of toast that was stuffed into Bob's mouth.

Bob, the Deity of Chaos, Entropy, and Sugar Rushes, First of the Drama-cats, Destroyer of Mondays, Savior of Pancakes, and the latest member of Jack's pirate crew, was also an anomaly. His prayers would always be granted, though it was unclear if he was granting them himself, or it was just a passive ability he had, or if some super powerful lawd was secretly watching over him.

Either way, everyone knew it was too dangerous to let him talk too much, especially now, in such a chaotic situation.

Clouds of crystal fell from the sky, like flaming meteors crashing down onto the ground beneath. Above them, fell a large island that remained mostly intact, though it had clearly suffered some damage here and there.

A massive, flying wooden ship dove down in the sky as well, following the descending debris closely, while countless explosions rocked the skies around them.

A giant grizzly bear, slightly over 500 feet (152 meters) tall was also falling down with the island - the place it had formerly called home. Yet instead of saving himself, the giant was engaged in a fist fight with a fairy a few inches tall.

Physical strength was not exactly Jack's forte, but he had augmented himself with his special ability that he called the 'Power of Friendship' which turned all his magical fairy energy into physical strength so that he could duke it out.

Ollie, the shadow talon that could travel between planes, was also flying all around them, fighting off many of the giant bear's underlings. The cannons on Jolly Rancher, under Tiny-Sparkles control, shot out deadly artillery that only added to the chaos all around them. In truth, Tiny-Sparkles too felt anger at the situation, but as the first mate, he had to try and control his captain. Unfortunately, that was easier said than done.

Lex had only been gone a few seconds. He disappeared for thirty seconds at most. How much could go wrong in that short period of time? As it turned out, a lot.

The moment Lex returned, Jack actually calmed down. But it was already too late now.

When Jack and the others completed their task from the Tower of Providence, Jack was looking forward to his reward. The last time the tower gave him taro fertilizer, something he needed to make the Midnight realm form quicker than expected.

This time, the task was even harder, so the reward should be greater, right? Right! Unfortunately, the greatness of the reward was debatable, for Jack had received the time and coordinates to save Bob's life.

Well Jack was a good samaritan, so he saved Bob, robbed a few local banks along the way, and inadvertently set himself on the trajectory for utter insanity.

Instead of returning to the Midnight realm, they had been sent to the Folklore realm - one of the very few mature realms in existence that did not have a proper ruler. That was because of the unusual laws of the Folklore realm.

Jack did not understand too much about it yet, but one thing led to another, and Jack had been trying to cook some Kidney beans when they suddenly sprouted into a massive beanstalk that pushed them into the air to an island, where they were confronted by a giant bear.

So far, things were still reasonable. Using a bit of his fairy magic, and the charm of a crew of tiny, cute pirates, Jack was negotiating with the bear. Then the bear felt a severe case of FOMO (fear of missing out) and wanted to join them in their ship.

Instead of being reasonable and shrinking down to size himself, he used his gigantism powers to enlarge the pirate ship.

As it happened, that was also the instant Lex disappeared. Well, Jack overreacted a little bit, only only because now the helm of his ship was too large for him to use, and the ship was resisting all attempts into shrinking back down.

Some words were exchanged, someone may have shaved a bit of a certain bear's hair, an alligator jumped into the clouds upon waking up from its nap, an owl may have snuck into the treasure vault of aforementioned, now bald bear and stolen some things. Words were exchanged, fists were thrown, and now the sky was falling down on the world down below.

"Fee-fi-fo this, baldy!" Jack screamed, crossing some boundaries Tiny-Sparkles personally would not have crossed. Even though the ship was now much larger than Jack, Jack was still linked to it and could control it. As such, he used his wings to get a little distance from the bear, and then slammed the ship into the bear, speeding up the ship's descent as it crashed towards the ground, turning into a ball of fire.

"I wish upon the shooting star-" Bob began screaming as he saw the flaming ship, yet a peanut butter and jelly sandwich was slammed into his mouth before he could continue. The crystal alligator cried, looking back up at the clouds in the sky. Cannons continued to fire. Ollie hid the treasures, and Tiny-Sparkles tried to call out to the captain once more, but this time the weight of his voice caused a Chaos Tribulation - a phenomenon that only existed in mature realms.

The pandemonium came to an abrupt halt when the ship, ramming into the bear's face, finally reached the ground, causing an explosion that may as well have been nuclear.

The severity of the explosion forced everyone to pause their actions and defend themselves, finally allowing for some peace once the actual explosion subsided.

"Tiny-Sparkles, you really need to stop distracting me while I fight," Jack complained as he flew over, feeling great after venting all of his frustrations on the bear. "Now, what were you trying to say?"

Jack also reestablished the weakening enchantment on the unicorn, so that his voice was no longer a lethal weapon.

"Not much," he responded. "I just wanted to let you know that only the bear can shrink the ship since it used a bloodline ability we're all too weak to counter right now. Without the bear, we'll need to reach the Celestial realm to shrink the ship."

Jack's smile suddenly faded, and looked towards the bear that no longer had a face, or a neck, or an upper torso. It probably wouldn't be doing anything any time soon, or ever again.