The Returner

Chapter 439: Wouldn’t you say that this is enough? (4)

“Why do you wish to return?” (Affeldrichae)

What a meaningless and empty question that was.

Yi Ji-Hyuk had forgotten a long time ago why he wanted to return. The only thing remaining was his singular desire to ‘simply’ return.

Nothing would be more pitiful than looking for a reason in something lacking in reason.

However, this d*mn lizard would never understand him. The lifeforms called dragons were basically an embodiment of rationality and logic so she’d never understand a human being filled to the brim with contradictions.

But, there was no need to make her understand, anyway.

He was in the wrong, to begin with.

Most likely from her perspective, Yi Ji-Hyuk would’ve looked like a climber scaling a massive cliff just to kill himself. No wonder she’d not understand his standpoint.

“Get out of my way.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“I’m the apostle of Latrel. You should know very well that I can’t let you go on.” (Affeldrichae)

“Oh, so you wish to stop me? Is that it?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“...If it comes to that.” (Affeldrichae)

A low, hollow chuckle leaked out from his lips.

It was low, soft. But the chuckle grew louder and louder to eventually become a maddened cackle that filled up the now-empty and desolate plain.

This would’ve been a rather interesting scene to spectate from the sidelines.

Here was a massive dragon.

And here was Yi Ji-Hyuk standing tall, coming across as an insignificant little insect in front of an Ancient Dragon at least 300 metres long. Others would’ve thought that he couldn’t even compare to this mighty creature.

Even then, both Yi Ji-Hyuk and Affeldrichae knew.

Whether it was their conversation or even the current situation...

...The initiative was with him.

“You’ve always stood in my way. One thousand, two... I can’t even remember just how many years it’s been at this point.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“...”

“Well, I’ll certainly evaluate your desire to keep sticking to that will of yours very highly, oh the one who’s unfortunate in some ways. A truly pitiful lifeform who thinks she’s quite logical but is unable to use her logic because of some goddess’s command.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

For a moment there, some flames roused up from around her maw. What Yi Ji-Hyuk had said certainly got on her nerves.

“Why do you ask, so you can learn what exactly? Your own will is already subservient to Latrel, anyway. You don’t even try to think and choose for yourself, so what does your own logic even mean to you? Aren’t you basically trying to find the answers from someone else and not yourself?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“But, I...!” (Affeldrichae)

Affeldrichae shouted out.

“It’s my choice to stop you.” (Affeldrichae)

“But why would you?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk smirked.

“You don’t have any reason to stop me, do you? Because, there’s actually no reason to stop me in the first place.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“...”

“The only reason you try to stop me is because Latrel labelled me as the bringer of apocalypse to this world. That’s the basis for all the reasons and pretext. You blindly follow such delusional crap yet you dare to mouth off some rubbish like it’s your choice? A dumb little lizard girl who has never actually lived out of her own free will is saying what now?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk’s tone of voice grew more and more combative.

“In the beginning, I thought that you had a valid reason to stop me. But when I learned that it was all because of some stupid little oracle, I couldn’t even get angry anymore. I mean, didn’t you maintain an opinion that humans are lowly creatures because they leave the important decisions to the gods in times of crisis? Listen here, you d*mn lizard woman. Humans have this thing called free will. I have no idea how highly you think of yourself, but that ain’t got nothing to do with me.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk smirked derisively.

“You asked me why I’m trying to go back?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

What was the point in asking, when the answer was so plainly obvious?

The reason might not exist, but the answer certainly did.

“Because, I want to go back. That’s all.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

A dragon that lived not through her rationality but through a set of rules would never understand that.

Yi Ji-Hyuk chuckled lightly and extended his hand in front of Affeldrichae.

“And that’s why you should get out of my way. Humans are fickle by nature, you see. To me, you used to be my worst, most hated enemy, but humans also have this thing called the ‘begrudging respect’. I don’t want to take your life with my own two hands, so if you get out of my way now, I’ll spare that worthless head of yours.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Affeldrichae’s golden eyes peered deeply into Yi Ji-Hyuk.

She knew very well that this seemingly small and weak-looking lifeform could rip her apart in less than one second if he wanted to. However, she simply had to stop him here.

That was the divine duty she was given. It was the oracle from the gods.

But...

‘...Why am I supposed to stop him?’ (Affeldrichae)

She couldn’t help but question the motive. The ‘Latrel’s Eye’ must never end up in Yi Ji-Hyuk’s hands – she knew that much. But she didn’t know why he must never acquire that item.

Her goddess was someone who always, always told her what needed to be done but never why it had to be done.

If that’s the case...

Because of a godly being’s purported unshakeable integrity, she needed to blindly believe and follow when the reasons remained unknown? Without being able to question or suspect anything?

Golden rays of light began dyeing her large body. Then her silhouette gradually shrunk down and eventually morphed into a humanoid to stand before Yi Ji-Hyuk.

“I thought you hated the most using polymorph to become a human?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“...Let’s label it as a service since this might be the last time.” (Affeldrichae)

Affeldrichae quietly stared at him before continuing on.

“Go on.” (Affeldrichae)

“Hmm?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

When those two totally unexpected words came out of her mouth, Yi Ji-Hyuk began staring at her with a somewhat flabbergasted expression.

“You want me to go on ahead?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Yes. Go.” (Affeldrichae)

“Are you thinking of going against Latrel’s wishes?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Who knows. I certainly am not sure. Not sure whether this is actually going against her wishes or I’m answering her expectations of me in a bigger sense.” (Affeldrichae)

“You’re saying some incomprehensible things.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“You won’t change your mind no matter what I say. Which means we’ll have to say goodbye here. In the form of my death.” (Affeldrichae)

“...”

“However, the one of the orders the goddess gave me was to keep my eyes on you. I can only do that when I’m still alive.” (Affeldrichae)

“Kekekeke.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk chortled softly.

Wasn’t this almost cheating, in a sense?

“Your sophistry is pretty good. I wonder if Latrel will be just as accommodating towards your sophistry like me, though.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk began walking forward. As he brushed past her side, Affeldrichae reached out and grabbed his arm.

“May I ask you one more question?” (Affeldrichae)

“...My service, then.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“What are going to do after returning to your home world?” (Affeldrichae)

“It’s up to you whether you believe me or not, but well...” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk smirked and replied.

“...There’ll be no ‘such thing’.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Affeldrichae stared at him with still confused eyes, but he didn’t say anything else and strode forward.

You’d never understand.

And you can’t understand, anyway.

...Even I can’t understand me, so how can you understand me? (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

Yi Ji-Hyuk’s vision was now filled with the sight of a distant spire.

On top of that tall structure was that one object he so badly wished to acquire: the Latrel’s Eye.

This was the moment that the Bringer of Apocalypse descended on Terra Latrel.

*

“Urgh...” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk twisted and contorted his whole body.

He tried to force himself to get some sleep, but couldn’t. The moment he returned home and laid down on the bed, his body began twisting and contorting little by little. He gasped and groaned while holding onto the sheets but in the end, he got up and rubbed his face, hard.

“Bloody hell.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Should he take some pain medication or something if this keeps up? This persistent pain just didn’t want to lessen at all.

‘I’m at my limit.’ (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Anyone else would’ve died thousands of times over by now. That’s how much his body had been pushed to its limit. This was no longer the issue of the pain but more to do with his body failing to maintain the status quo anymore.

He pulled out a cigarette and with some difficulty, managed to light it up.

“Man, this sucks a*s.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“I agree.” (Affeldrichae)

A voice suddenly came from behind him, but Yi Ji-Hyuk didn’t bother to turn around. There was no need.

He knew who was there, anyway.

He then sensed her arms gently embracing him around his shoulders.

“...Heal me or something.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“You know that it’s no longer possible, don’t you?” (Affeldrichae)

“I’m sure it’ll lessen the pain a bit, so it’s fine.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Affeldrichae watched his tremble softly in her embrace and bit down on her lip.

He was shaking not because of sorrow or fear. The pain was so severe that his body was trembling all on its own. Like a late-stage cancer patient that not even the narcotics-laced painkillers could help, Yi Ji-Hyuk was enduring vicious pain every single day that no one else could possibly withstand.

“There are other ways.” (Affeldrichae)

“There isn’t. Not anymore.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“There are always other ways.” (Affeldrichae)

White, gentle rays of light came from both of Affeldrichae’s hands and dug deep into his body.

‘It’s not good.’ (Affeldrichae)

She was using healing magic, but his body showed no sign of recovering at all. Healing magic basically used external Mana to stimulate and maximise a person’s natural recovery ability.

However, Yi Ji-Hyuk’s physical body was like a bottomless pit; no matter how much water was poured in, it’d never fill up to the top as everything simply seeped away. His body with not even one iota of lifeforce left could not be healed by Affeldrichae’s magic.

“I feel better already.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

But it seemed effective in lessening his pain because Yi Ji-Hyuk let out a sigh of relief.

“How long do I have?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“...Do you really wish to hear it?” (Affeldrichae)

“Of course.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Affeldrichae shivered just a little.

This man, he was always like this.

Despite suffering from intolerable pain, he’d always pretend that everything was fine. He’d behave as if nothing was wrong.

Some time ago, she used to think this side of him could very well signify an existence’s integrity, its ‘completeness’ as it were. But now, she changed her mind. This man, he was just unable to entrust himself to someone else.

He was an existence that handled everything all by himself.

‘The ones he detests the most are...’ (Affeldrichae)

Those would be the dragons and demonic beings. Beings that lived for almost an eternity and searched for solutions by themselves while not relying on anyone else.

Yi Ji-Hyuk hated and detested them the most, yet the current him inexplicably resembled them. Maybe it was an obvious result seeing that he had lived for way too long.

“...I’m not sure.” (Affeldrichae)

“You’re not?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Tomorrow... No, today. It’d not be strange for you to just stop breathing today. Honestly, I still can’t figure out how you’re still alive right now.” (Affeldrichae)

“You’re saying some scary stuff with a straight face. You’re practically labelling me as a half-zombie or something.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“It’d be better if you were an actual zombie?” (Affeldrichae)

“...I see. Thanks.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk got back up on his feet.

“Where are you going?” (Affeldrichae)

“Since I heard that, I can’t be sitting on my a*s anymore. Time to make some moves.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“But, you’ll die.” (Affeldrichae)

“Can’t be helped, I guess.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“You do know that there are other ways, don’t you?” (Affeldrichae)

Yi Ji-Hyuk stopped in his tracks.

“You told me something in the past. That I’m the existence who never thought or chose for myself.” (Affeldrichae)

“Yeah.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“To my eyes, you’re the same right now. You may mistakenly believe that you’re acting on your own volition, but the way I see it, you’ve simply ended up drowning in a cause. A cause of needing to protect this Earth. What’s so different about this and the oracle of the gods that you mocked so much back then?” (Affeldrichae)

“...”

“Can you give me an exact reason why you need to protect? And have you really accepted that reason? I’m certain you haven’t. Because, this is simply a task with a purpose but no reason behind it. Don’t you see it? You’re mimicking exactly what I did in the past. You simply have no reason to protect this world nor burn alongside it, either.” (Affeldrichae)

A soft sigh leaked out next. Yi Ji-Hyuk massaged his face, and Affeldrichae continued on with an uncharacteristically powerless voice.

“If you’re really a human, you should worry about yourself first like an actual human being. I thought all humans prioritised themselves over everyone else? Earth or anything else, they don’t hold much meaning to you, anyway. So, you can shove aside the foolish sentiment like this world is precious or some such. Because there’s no way that’s true!” (Affeldrichae)

Venomous anger began filling up her eyes next.

< 439. Wouldn’t you say that this is enough? -4 > Fin.