The Simulacrum

Book 4 Extra 6: The magic of the Ferris wheel

"The view's even better than I remembered," I mused aloud as I stared at the sunset in the distance through the frosted window of the Ferris wheel cabin.

On my right, a seemingly infinite horizon, with the red sun hanging over it visible through the thin vein of winter clouds in the sky. On my left, the buildings of Timaeus, covered in a thick padding of snow, cast long shadows onto the busy roads. The street lamps weren't alight yet, but with the holiday lights and decorations visible even from my vantage point, the cityscape was still spectacular. No matter which way I looked, it felt like I was in a painting, or one of those fancy Christmas postcards.

"It's really lovely!" the girl on my lap agreed in a bright voice, her lips parted in a sweet smile that told me she was already on cloud nine. It tickled my teasing instinct, so I tickled her in turn. "A-Awawa! Stop it! The cabin is rocking!"

Chuckling, I stopped and planted a peck on her pouting cheek to placate the princess. Despite being a mighty Draconian, my girlfriend was skittish about the weirdest of things.

Anyhow, once we settled down, I glanced around again and continued to drink in the scenery. Today was my solo date day with Elly, and she asked me if I could take her to the amusement park. In particular, she wanted to re-enact my first definitely-not-date with Judy, just with her as the star of the show. As far as I could gather, it was yet another example of her strange sense of balance and fairness acting up.

I had no reason to refuse, and while I was initially worried about whether the place would even be open during winter, my fears were not only unfounded, it turned out the holidays were peak season around here, with themed attractions and special rides galore.

Of course, the whole 're-enactment' thing only lasted for a very short time, since my dear princess refused to even entertain the thought of hopping onto any of the rollercoasters. I had a feeling the time she was with the date-stalker group and followed us onto four different rides might've left her with a bit of a trauma. Needless to say, the haunted house was also off the table, despite my best efforts. It might've been for the best. You didn't hear this from me, the 'unknown' girl who punched out an animatronics monster became an urban legend in Critias's social media circles, and I barely had a hand in starting the rumor.

In any case, it didn't really matter, as Elly's main goal was the Ferris wheel from the very beginning, and there were loads and loads of silly couple things to do around the park to pass the time until the ambiance was just right to board it.

Since she was looking forward to it so much, and the ride didn't seem to be super-popular today, I pulled the operator over while Elly visited the restroom, and he graciously allowed us to stay on the ride for a couple of rounds. I was really persuasive, but I suppose passing a hundred Jen note his way also helped. If anyone asked, it wasn't a bribe; it was an interpersonal investment.

In other words, we had all the time in the world to enjoy the scenery and each other's company, and the princess certainly appreciated it.

"So... what were we talking about before we got inside?" I asked, mostly just to get the conversation rolling, and my no-longer-pouty girlfriend considered the question seriously, even putting a finger on her lips. Or, at least, I presumed that was what she was doing, but she had mittens on her hands, so it was hard to tell for sure.

"I think you were asking about dragon fire."

"And how did you answer?"

"I don't think I did. What was the exact question again?"

"I was curious if there were any other kinds besides the red and yellow ones?" I reiterated my inquiry from before we boarded the Ferris wheel, and she once again fell into deep (and oddly cute) contemplation.

"I suppose you could call the red one normal dragon fire, while the golden one is the true dragon fire," she explained what I already knew, but I remained patient.

"Yes, but then what about the one Josh used during the tournament?"

"That... Now that you mention it, it certainly was an odd color wasn't it?"

"Yep. Have you heard of anything similar to that?"

"No, not really. Well, except..."

"Except?"

"You know, when I told Sebastian I could use true dragon fire, he rubbed my head and told me to practice until I could make it green." After saying that, she scratched her cheek like it was embarrassing and added, "I think he was making fun of me at the time, but that's the only thing I can think of. Sorry."

"No-no. Don't be sorry. That's actually really helpful," I said and hugged her a little closer to cheer her up.

Disregarding the possibility that it really was just an off-color joke by the ancient butler (pun intended), it made a lot of sense. Red was basic, then the slightly stronger orange, then the really powerful golden yellow, and then potential green. That was pretty much the right end of the color spectrum. If the pattern kept up, there was a good chance that there was blue dragon fire, followed by purple, and then... ultraviolet? Maybe it didn't go that far, but it would explain a few observations.

On the other hand, it did nothing to explain this weird notion I had about multi-colored draconic wave motion lasers. If I closed my eyes, I could practically see it in my mind; a beam that starts out red, and then shifts through all the hues of the rainbow in quick succession, like a psychedelic music video effect from the eighties. The question was, where did it come from? Repressed memory from a past life? A fragmentary image from an alternate timeline? An odd fever dream caused by drinking too much coke after midnight that the Simulacrum retconned into existence? The options are near endless, and all of them are annoying.

After some further consideration, I decided to share my thoughts with the princess, and she listened to me closely. I even mentioned the snippet I'd caught about 'prismatic dragon fire', and my words put a crease in her brows.

"It does make some sense," she concluded a touch uncertainly, but then she cocked her head to the side and added, "The part I don't understand is why these dragon fire variants would be kept secret. It should be something every Draconian would know about."

"Maybe it's lost knowledge," I proposed. "It seems to be a common thing around here."

"Is it?"

"Isn't it?" I asked back a bit more provocatively than intended, so I quickly toned it back. "If you think about it, all the mystic factions are suffering from some kind of major issue related to lost knowledge or legacies or whatnot. The Magi have their super-special-awesome grimoire they can't use anymore, the knights were on the verge of falling apart because they had no way to replenish their lost equipment, the Celestials are still missing their dear not-cult-leader, while you guys have to pay attention to your bloodlines because dragons are just so bloody rare nowadays. If you look at it that way, everyone had their golden age, then due to various circumstances related to losing something, now everyone's in a bind."

"Wait a moment," Elly stopped me in my tracks and removed her mittens just so that she could count on her fingers. "That's one, two... Aren't all of those things related to Josh's prophecies?"

"Yep."

"Does that make it a trope?"

"Everything is a trope, but this one is extra-definitely one. I'm pretty sure the whole 'trying to recover lost glory' thing had a proper name, but I can't recall it at the moment. Let's ask Judy once we get home; lately, she's been way more on top of these things than I am."

"But wait. Wouldn't this mean that everyone is having these problems just so that Josh can resolve them?" When I ambivalently shrugged, the princess let out a shallow groan and muttered, "Just how deeply does this narrative of yours run?"

"Very," I responded with a knowing nod, but then I added, "To be fair thought, it might be a classic 'chicken or the egg' situation. It's just as likely that everyone has their handicaps because the whole 'things were better and more advanced in the past' thing is a pretty common trope, and Josh is just wedged in as a one-size-fits-all MacGuffin."

"Still sounds a little disheartening," the princess grumbled under her breath, but then her eyes opened wide as something occurred to her and she pointed at my face. "The Abyssals."

"The what now?"

"You mentioned everyone else, but you didn't say anything about the Abyssals. Josh's prophecy was about becoming their emperor or something, right?"

"Not exactly. It was more about heralding or ushering in the emperor."

"So he's supposed to nominate someone?"

"I have no idea. In fact, I don't think the Abyssals do either," I explained a touch wearily. "From what I've gathered, it seems like Crowey and his cronies are under the impression that by putting their hands on Josh, he could claim to be the new Emperor of the Abyss and make the Inannas royalty."

"Really?" I nodded, and Elly once again furrowed her brows, "They are surprisingly quiet, considering they already know how important he is."

"There are three reasons for that," I said, raising the same number of fingers for illustration. "First off, they aren't in a hurry because no other Abyssal noble house knows about him yet. Secondly, they are still reeling from their previous failure, so they need to fully solidify their position first, or they would be just asking for another house to take Josh from them in turn. Thirdly, and most importantly, a certain handsome, clever, and criminally humble dashing rogue had been constantly sabotaging them in both small and big ways, and so they're in so much trouble they have no time to chase after old prophecies and whatnot."

"Judy did say that you went into the Abyss to do something to their Mana Well," the princess mused, drawing a smile out of me.

"Yep."

"She also said you flirted with someone while you were doing it."

That made my smile wilt in record time, and I hastily explained, "Correction: it was Bel who flirted with her, and even that is completely up to deeply personal and inherently subjective interpretation."

If I was with Judy, this would've probably led to a long and heated discussion about what exactly constitutes 'flirting' under which circumstances and what definitions, but Elly just accepted my words in stride and was already thinking about something else.

"You know, I keep forgetting, but you're really scary."

"... Am I?"

"Definitely," she declared with full confidence. "For most people, breaking into the Abyss and tampering with their source of power would be a momentous occasion, but to you, it's so mundane you're more worried about whether or not someone thought you were flirting with them while you were doing it."

"What's strange about that? My abilities do make it relatively easy and risk-free, while any alleged flirting accusations can cause relationship drama, which I hate, so it's obvious which one is more important," I said off-handedly, only to pause when I noticed the skeptical stare the princess was giving me. "What? Is that weird?"

"Of course it is!" She raised her voice, then rubbed her forehead for a second before she explained, "This is the kind of thing why everyone's so wary of you. You keep downplaying the incredible things you do, so the people who don't know you don't know how to react, they try to read between the lines, and then start thinking about what else you could do, and their imagination works them up into being terrified of you."

"Well, I'd say that's their own problem," I said with a nonchalant shrug, but this time my girlfriend wagged her finger at me in a warning.

"Don't say that. You're now the face of the Draconic federation, so you have to be careful about your image. You can't just blame others for not understanding you. If I didn't know you were just a big, sweet teddy bear, even I would be afraid of you!"

"Hey, I'm not a teddy bear," I protested, but my princess just giggled and used the same finger to impishly poke me.

"You are. You're the biggest softie in this world."

"No, I'm not," I grumbled, definitely not pouting or anything. My well-reasoned denial unfortunately couldn't deter her, and she continued to poke at me.

"Is that so? Then why did you prepare a reward for everyone, despite repeatedly claiming that you didn't want anything to do with the tournament?"

"They were just impulse purchases."

"Does that include the champion belt, with the gold-plated shield?"

"Obviously."

"And what about the new toolset the Fauns got? The one that came with its huge cabinet? You just bought it on impulse too?"

"Let's call that a belated Christmas present. It's normal to give gifts during Christmas. It's what holidays are for."

"Then what about these?" Saying so, she reached into her coat and produced a small piece of paper with 'IOU' written on it and signed by yours truly.

"What? It's a voucher. It's literally the cheapest, most ad-hoc, and impersonal form of gift possible. How does that make me a softie?" I fumed, yet the princess affectionately chuckled at my words and leveled the piece of paper in front of her eyes.

"This is an extra-thick kind of craft paper you specifically had to buy in a stationery store, and considering the embossing says 'From Leonard S. Dunning', you had to do the relief printing yourself. Not only that, but it has your signature written with bright red ink and a literal wax seal in the corner, with a cartoon faun giving a thumbs-up. Are you saying this is something impersonal you came up with on the spot?"

We locked eyes for a few seconds, right until I glanced away to gaze at the scenery and say, "I put a lot of effort into putting as little effort into gifts as possible. So what?"

Once again, my draconic girlfriend broke out into giggles but didn't press me any further, and instead she waved the voucher around a bit.

"It's a shame I already used up mine. Maybe I should've asked for something more outrageous, like a pet narwhal."

"Hold on," I cut in, my eyes automatically returning to her face again. "Putting any horned whales aside, when did you use up your IOU?"

"Now?"

She sounded more than a tad puzzled, and it took me a while to realize where the misunderstanding originated from.

"You mean, this date? Why would you need to use it for something trivial like this?" In retrospect, I could remember her holding onto her voucher when she told me she wanted to go to the amusement park, but I thought it was only because she liked it. I took that for granted, since I put a lot of... lack of effort into it? Wait, why am I being a tsundere in my own thoughts?

Shaking my head, I pushed the hand holding the IOU back and said, "Please don't use it for just a date. It makes it sound like I'm not taking you out enough."

"Okay, then... Dragon Prodigy is going to have a concert on the island next spring, so I'll hold onto it until then and ask you to come with me to watch them!"

"... Princess, that's the exact same thing. I will go with you even without this."

For emphasis, I flicked the voucher in front of me, and my girlfriend fell into deep thought again.

"Mmm. What should I ask for then? Maybe I really should"

"No narwhals," I cut in before she could finish that sentence. "Where would you even keep one?"

" Judy is right. You really are a spoilsport."

"What was that? It almost sounded like someone was asking for a tickling."

"Ah, we have no time for that!" My flirting got deflected, which was a little sad, but I had no time to dwell on that, as Elly hastily pocketed the IOU and pointed outside. "We're at the top of the Ferris wheel! You know what that means?"

"Of course I do," I answered with the tiniest of smirks and leaned in to kiss my princess.

It was quite the romantic moment, if I say so myself, though it could've used some fireworks in the background, just to add some extra pizazz to the moment. Unfortunately, there would be no fireworks today until eight in the evening. It was some kind of pre-new year's celebration today, but it was still quite some time away, so maybe next year.

...

Though again, we didn't specify how many rounds we would be going on the Ferris wheel, so in theory, we could just stay here until evening and complete my 'clichd romantic scenes' BINGO card' that way.

Anyhow, our kiss lasted for quite a while, but oxygen was a cruel and demanding mistress, so we had to soon part to take a breath.

"What are you thinking about?" Elly asked out of the blue, eliciting a shrug.

"Just fireworks. What about you?"

"I'm wondering how big of a water tank you need to hold a narwhal. Should I ask Galatea?"

I rewarded my dear girlfriend with a look so flat it could be used to calibrate scientific instruments, and told her, "And now, we return to our regularly scheduled tickling. Thank you for your patience."

"W-Wait! I'm just kidding!"

As my dear girlfriend's giggles filled the cabin again, I had to conclude one thing: we might as well wait out the fireworks today. With our track record, I was fairly sure we won't be bored in the meantime.