Chapter 70: If he hadn't been there... (2)
Chapter 70: If he hadn't been there... (2)
The past Hanna stood at the summit of Hamel Mountain range, within the habitat of the orcs.
Hidden behind a huge tree, she held a crumpled request in her hands, the past self of her.
It was a familiar request.
A request that hadn't fallen from the notice board for six months – one that wasn't profitable.
Among adventurers, it had developed a pessimistic reputation. Veteran adventurers even called it ‘a quest that no one with only one life would take on.'
"Please kill the ‘orc' that murdered my mother."
Reward: 1000 gold
Features: Wears a necklace made from a wolf's fang. / Notable light purple skin.
The requester's wish was to avenge their mother by misleading adventurers, branding an ‘Elite Orc' as simply an ‘orc.'
Any adventurer who wasn't confident in their skills wouldn't have accepted such an assignment. The reward was ridiculously low as well.
Hanna was aware of this deception.
And certainly her past self must have known as well.
Even a novice adventurer would know that an orc with purple skin signified it was an ‘Elite', a term added to the monsters’ kind.
Yet, her past self had accepted a fraudulent request.
For consolation.
And to gain a motive for ‘good deeds.'
Her courage wasn't meaningless, she must have deceived herself, believing there was a reason behind it–to alleviate the resentment of a child who lost their mother.
On a rainy birthday.
She had sat there pondering over this request herself.
The past Hanna, holding her breath and hiding, whispered softly upon spotting an orc straggler from the group.
"Found it."
An orc with a light purplish tinge to its skin, unlike the common kind.
Hanna let out a hollow laugh.
"It's the same one I caught back then."
The Elite Orc she could capture with guidance from Ricardo. It was the same one her past self was aiming for.
Light purple skin.
Holding a club bigger than itself.
Wearing a necklace made from a wolf's fang, she recalled the past moments shared with Ricardo.
Back then, with Ricardo by her side, she had not felt scared, but now, she felt terror.
Because she knew her own past naivety.
Hanna murmured to herself.
"Run away."
She knew that it was an opponent she couldn't face.
Her past self must have known of her insufficiency as well. The hand holding the request was trembling like a leaf. Hanna sighed, seeing the scared past version of herself constantly looking for a path that had no orcs.
Hanna clenched her fists tight and said again.
"Run away."
Though she might have wanted to impassively watch her past. She couldn't just stand by and watch herself struggling to break free from the shackles of indifference.
It was pitiful.
And foolish.
That's why Hanna said.
Because there's no one beside you.
Run away.
Right now, even now, she wished to tell her to sheathe her sword and go to her own refuge. To rush to the house of the villainess who would always greet her with a smile.
But.
Her past self didn't know of the refuge called ‘Ricardo.'
Unfortunately, that is.
The past Hanna, with a determined look in her eyes, drew her sword and walked towards the orc.
She hesitated after seeing the bloodstained end of the club.
"I have to prove it… That I can do it, too."
Driven by the desire to be recognized, her fearful legs propelled her forward.
When the orc's back was visible, she kicked off the ground and leaped.
"Ahhh!!!"
With a battle cry, she swung her sword towards the orc.
Hanna could sense it.
The thought that ‘Here is where I will die.'
Although she stood before the Elite Orc with determination, the outcome, regardless of her resolve, was not good.
The orc's attack, with a club far larger than her body, was much more powerful than she had anticipated.
With a speed unperceivable, the orc's club approached her, who was now suspended in the air.
Without resistance, her body was subjected to the club's blow and she began to tumble to the ground loudly.
-Crunch.
As she rolled in dust with grotesque noise, her past self hit the ground in terrible pain.
As her meticulously devised plan crumbled with a single blow, she desperately tried to get up, shaking her head.
When her limp legs refused her commands, she mercilessly struck her thigh with her fist.
"Heave… Sigh… Argh! Move… Move!"
The thumping sound of the charging orc approached her fallen body.
Her pupils dilated greatly.
Hanna got hold of her dropped sword while crawling on the ground. Clenching both her fists, she struggled to stand up amidst her shaky efforts.
"It's okay… It's what I expected."
Knowing her own skills before she received guidance from Ricardo, Hanna could guess the future that would unfold.
"It's okay…"
Because it was expected…
-Crunch!!!
Because I am weak…
-Crunch!!!
I am…
-Aaaahhhhh!!!
If there hadn't been a butler…
-Aaaahhhhh!!! Stop… Stop it…!
Hanna, who was comforting herself in solitude, began to freeze as she saw the ground slowly staining with blood.
It was horrific.
The sight of her being torn apart by the club was devastating.
Her thin hands trying to fend off the orc's club felt utterly desperate.
Hanna despaired.
Is that all it was…?
If there hadn't been a butler…
Would I… have ended up like that…?
Seeing things with one's eyes and thinking about them can stir emotions of different magnitudes.
Blood splattering across her face. A look saturated with despair. And herself, desperately calling for her father in a heart-wrenching voice.
It was pitiable and frightening.
Because she knew no one would come to save her.
Tears began to flow from Hanna’s eyes.
Because of the fear.
The fear of having to endure such horrors without Ricardo, and her harrowing cries for her father, all felt terrifying.
-Dad… Dad…
Hanna ran towards the orc.
Filled with the emotion of wanting it all to stop.
However.
The blue window would not permit it.
[You are the observer. You cannot interfere with the subject.]
Hanna collapsed to the floor as if falling.
She could only silently watch as she fell.
The past Hanna barely standing, sword in hand, faced the orc in front of her.
Her face a mess.
Her legs barely holding her up.
And there she was, steeped in fear, casting her eyes on the orc and saying with difficulty,
-I need to be acknowledged… Now I…
With that final word.
The orc's club cut through the air.
Her small, frail body was sent flying.
[The viewpoint is changing.]
With ragged breaths, the perspective flipped.
-Heave… Heave…
She found herself standing in a dark cave.
With a heavy heart, Hanna looked around.
Drip. Dampness from the cave's humidity was forming droplets in this damp and dark place. Moonlight leaked through the darkness.
Hanna knew this place.
It was where she and Ricardo used to rest during training.
A shallow cave not too deep.
At the thought that it was all finally over, Hanna sighed with relief, but then,
-Haah… Haah…
Her heart sank at the sight of her own body battered and bruised.
The past Hanna stared emptily at the cave entrance.
Leaning against the cave's wall.
Her past self, panting for breath.
Always holding the sword tightly, in case a monster might enter, she saw herself.
Her body was battered.
From the battle with the orc, her legs had twisted grotesquely, and wounds filled her body.
Hanna clenched her fist.
Relieved that her past self was alive, but this relief quickly turned to despair.
The words seen in the blue window were clear.
It showed that she would die.
At that moment, when she couldn't utter a word due to her ominous thoughts.
The voice of the past began to echo through the cave.
-It's fortunate…
In the midst of a dire situation, the past Hanna was looking at her hands and smiling. Despite her ruined leg, she mouthed words with a wilted smile, reassured by her hands.
-I didn't hurt my hands.
She was making foolish remarks.
Past Hanna, placing her hands bathed in moonlight close to her chest, gazed outside the cave where the moonlight filtered through.
-Now I just have to wait.
She was waiting in the darkness for her father.
Because no matter how forsaken a child, she firmly believed he would come to find her if she disappeared.
*
Two days had passed.
"Drip…"
Rain was falling outside the cave.
The past Hanna clung to her own chilled body. Her lips were blue, her face pale; it was as if it signaled the end of a terrible nightmare.
The past Hanna gazed vacantly at the cave entrance where rain was falling and murmured,
-Why doesn't he come?
-It's so cold…
-I have to apologize for running away.
-Could it be… he won't come?
-Gasp… No, why do I think so gloomily? Dad said he would scold me for crying… So let's not cry.
-He will surely come… definitely.
Her body drenched in cold sweat, she looked outside with fear-filled eyes.
Her legs wouldn't move.
Cold sweat was pouring down like rain.
As heat enveloped her body, the past Hanna groaned in her fever, and the present Hanna bowed her head in resignation.
She thought she would've died fighting.
That was the ending she had imagined, and in a way, it was the best-case scenario, given that it was less miserable.
But.
As Hanna's face grew pale with the realization that her father hadn't come for two days,
No matter how forsaken a daughter.
Even if she had run away.
Wouldn’t he have been worried?
If even a bit of searching was done, they could have discovered where she went.
If they had simply inquired at the adventurers’ guild, they could have found out which quest she had taken.
-Why… Why doesn't he come?
Hanna looked with trembling eyes at her forlorn past self lying helplessly.
She was alone.
There was no one by her side.
No one to comfort her.
Sending herself through a solitary tragedy.
The sight of her foolishly smiling at her intact hands.
The giddy belief that if her father saw it, he would praise her, felt to Hanna like a terrible movie.
Then.
One week passed.
As the past Hanna held the sword her father had gifted her when she was young, clutching it to her chest and calling out her father's name until her last breath.
Hanna bowed her head.
Embracing the despair of being abandoned and the terror of death, and just quietly looking outside the cave… this was a situation Hanna would have faced if Ricardo had not been there.
-Dad… I want to see you.
Her voice was getting lost in the sound of the relentless rain.
-I'm sorry…
The most unwanted ending was unfolding right before her.
As her breath became more distant, Hanna lowered her head.
Then, three days later.
Her father cried, clutching her body, which had lost its warmth.
-Hanna…
-You need to wake up. Your father is here.
-I'll do anything, any training you want.
-Come on, wake up…
He was saying this with a foolish expression on his face.
Hanna could not bear to witness that scene.
Out of hatred.
[The scene shifts to one year after Hanna Histania's death.]
The last prank of the blue window unfolded before her eyes.
-May I call you father?
Her father was smiling warmly at the woman with the familiar face.
For the first time, he was showing a smile she'd never seen as he tenderly stroked the woman's hair with his hand.
The woman with pink hair and beautiful appearance, the most popular person at the Royal Academy and a prodigy in healing-
Yuria.
Yuria asked as she lifted her head.
-Why are you so nice to me?
Her father replied with a wistful smile.
-You remind me of my youngest daughter… I keep seeing her in you.
Tears began streaming from Hanna's eyes.
She felt that even in death… she would never see her father again.
[The viewing ends here.]
***
The heavy feeling wouldn't leave her.
Tears were streaming from her eyes.
Breaths, shaking with fear and agony, were coming out.
Disgusted with her father for projecting herself in his regrets, shaking with the revelation of his late remorse changing into death,
Wondering what to say.
What kind of expression to put on.
Hanna, unable to express her suffocating feelings, felt the despair build within her and swept her hand across her face.
"I… really… gave it my all."
She had tried so hard to survive the pain that seemed to carve into her flesh, to overcome and be acknowledged.
But the end that acknowledged her through death was laughably ironic to Hanna, who tapped on her oppressed chest.
She wanted to give up.
Everything.
Just as she was about to leave the despair-filled bed and stand up,
"Are you crying?"
A familiar voice sounded.
"Why are you crying…?"
The woman looking down at her with a blank expression. Olivia, with her white hair, was munching on chocolate and placed her hand on Hanna's forehead, saying,
"You don't seem to have a fever."
Olivia, with a look of concern, broke the chocolate in half.
Her trembling hands offering it.
"Do you want some…?"
Olivia clearly didn't want to share.
And then.
"Lady, aren’t you being too stingy with just that much?"
"Eeek…! It's mine!"
"Consideration. Respect. Chocolate. All are bribes for the sake of the future."
"But… still…"
Ricardo, taking the chocolate from Olivia's hands, smiled kindly and said,
"Don't cry."
"It saddens me even more to see you cry."
Hanna looked up at Ricardo with tearful eyes.
And then.
She nestled into his embrace and cried bitterly.