Transformation or Death

Chapter 27

The Meaning of Protection (5)

Dusk had blanketed the world. It was red. The flow of light that poured through the window stained the belt crimson. Suddenly, a bloody hue came to mind. The breathing was rough. It was because of the tension. The occasional chirping of birds eerily erased the silence.

[Will you accept?]

The belt asked again. The first night, when he was running away from the villain without knowing anything, may not have been the first day.

The difference was that back then, transforming was the way to escape, but now transformation was the way to walk into the limbs.

If it were just a simple rescue or endurance, it would be a different matter. Repulsion?

Will I really be able to succeed? I just saw Libra’s power. The power of a pseudo-nova. That was something that even handling all seven stars to the fullest could not guarantee victory.

My head hurt. I wiped my face with my trembling hands. Even this small action made my shoulders ache and my body hurt. The wounds had healed quickly, but they were not completely cured.

There are many excuses. There are more than enough reasons to run away or give up.

The person I’m going to save now is not an ordinary citizen, but a hero.

The faces of the spectating civilians and reporters captured on the TV screen. In their expressions, one could see concern or anxiety, but beyond that, there was also a faint trust.

A trust like ‘The magical girl will somehow help’.

In a worldview where heroism is pervasive, people take the sacrifice of heroes for granted. Even the heroes themselves.

The memories before the possession may be fake, but I still have that value system. It feels strange to take a child who has not yet properly positioned himself in society and make him fight, risking his life.

The reason magical girls are girls is because all magical girls gain their powers before adulthood.

Brilliant child soldiers.

While despising this unethical act, I also understand it. They have power, after all. A special power, like the starlight in the night sky, different from the trembling citizens who fear being killed by the villain at any moment.

They will admire, be jealous in a corner of their hearts, and ultimately depend on and expect her. They will realize this expectation, even if it means sacrificing their own lives.

It is a vicarious satisfaction obtained by projecting oneself onto the hero.

That’s the weight the hero must bear.

Not only the lives of others, but also those expectations.

People saw the light, not the stars.

Being far away, they cannot empathize, do not know, and only see the shining appearance for a long time.

Someday, when the glory of day is obscured, when the artificial lights of night are obscured, when the clouds obscure, when the starlight is gone, their eyes will turn away with a cruel gaze. But while that light is there, they will gaze at it with a self-satisfying admiration.

Is that admiration really only held by those who see the light? Doesn’t the light itself also have it?

Red Vega’s words came to mind. The insane words that one can even sacrifice one’s life to protect someone.

This benevolent insanity that sustains this world. Relying on that, she will burn her life today.

She has already experienced defeat several times. She will not be defeated by sheer willpower. Those who fight to protect have no backs. Those who have more to lose are more desperate.

Death.

Truly, with the readiness to face even death.

“Phew…”

I took a deep breath and exhaled. I rubbed my face with my palms. I was tired. I hurt, too. I trembled with fear and suppressed nausea from trauma over and over again.

Death is frightening.

But that could not be a reason for me not to act.

[Guardian, make your choice.]

Now I finally understood why I was the guardian.

After mulling over the fear countless times, I was able to reach a conclusion.

I knew the value of my own life, I knew what was precious, and I knew my current situation.

Knowing that, I realized the weight of the words I was about to utter was not light at all.

“I accept.”

There was no regret in this answer.

The resolve forged in the midst of fear is solid.

Because it is an answer given with the awareness of the value of my own life, that answer is clearer than life itself.

The trembling in my hands has stopped. But the heartbeat was still there. The pounding gradually grew louder.

The heart was beating with excitement.

I got up from the slightly hard hospital bed. Compared to where I had been sleeping, it was almost like heaven. But I felt a little regretful about leaving.

*** 

Ippotransltion

***

I went up to the rooftop of the hospital and looked down below. The cool autumn wind felt even colder on my thin hospital gown. 

I grabbed the round belt that was floating around. 

There is no turning back now.

But I have no regrets.

The belt I transformed skillfully now looked more like a buckle resembling a telescope rather than a sphere. I attached it to my waist. The coordinates it transmitted to my brain clearly marked the path.

In fact, the information wasn’t even necessary. Brilliant fireworks were erupting between the buildings. Some may have seen it as a display of courage, but to me it was like a beacon.

There is a barrier set up in front of the place where those fireworks came from, blocking only the magical girls. Regular people can move freely, but the place is filled with those hoping for the barrier to be removed, yet no one dares to muster the courage to rescue those kidnapped within.

The path I must take is clear.

I grasped the buckle and attached it to my waist with a click. The metal chain that came out from the buckle wrapped tightly around my waist, forming a heavy belt.

This substantial belt on my waist proved that I have departed from the ordinary. It is power.

I have a special power that sets me apart from others.

Unlike those who can only project themselves onto heroes or hope their own status equals the fallen heroes, I have power.

Unlike those who timidly hover around the barrier they could enter, but lack the courage to do so.

I acknowledge that expecting courage from them is tyrannical. It’s no different from telling the powerless to recklessly challenge the villains and die meaninglessly.

But I am different. I have power.

It may be the same power as the villains. But how that power is used depends on the user’s disposition.

This power that can easily take someone’s life, the direction of its use has been predetermined long ago.

As I gazed at the darkening sky, I muttered, “Have I seen the stars?”

With the pulsing sound like an engine as my transformation readiness signal, I placed my hand on the belt.

“I won’t look away anymore.”

I will seek out my ideal, even through fear.

To do that, I must change this weak body and fragile mind.

That is why I cried out, “Transform!”

This is the guardianship that only I can fulfill.

Being from a different world with different values, I know that what is taken for granted is not so. 

Even if these memories are false, my heart remains unchanged.

I am the sole guardian permitted, unlike those who take the sacrifice and sparkle of the magical girls for granted, not realizing they are girls before being magical, multifaceted humans who are still too young to bear such arduous tasks, and should be enjoying their youthful happiness.

Only I know the hero’s psychosis, that madness.

Only I can feel the need to protect them.

 I have observed the stars.

[ASTRONOMICAL OBSERVATION.]

I have observed them, not their twinkling, but their loneliness.

I have witnessed the demise of the stars.

Knowing their backside, seeing their end.

Because I can observe, I know the right path to take.

If a hero is a guardian protecting the citizens,

Then who guards the guardian?

In a society where a hero’s sacrifice is seen as natural, where they themselves readily throw away their own lives, who will protect them?

I will take on that role.

I will become the guardian of the guardians.

I am not a star. I do not need the stars’ sparkle. No need for adoration or admiration.

I am not a star, but the observer, the one who watches.

The one who sees, understands.

Not the one who turns their eyes away in disappointment when the stars are obscured by darkness, but the one who remembers the value of that light forever, guarding and protecting it.

This is my ideal.

Now I understand.

Now I remember.

Starlight surged from the belt, rising heavily and deeply, like sunken stars emerging from the dark depths of the ocean, containing the vastness of the sea.

When I was drenched in blood and water under the overpass, beaten and mocked by the villain, I feared death, and feared something else.

Blue Sirius. I feared her guilt, the sorrow she would feel, even though it was not her fault.

That sorrow was the true fear.

Not just her, but all magical girls would be the same. They would long for the tiny lives they overlooked, rather than seeking reward for their suffering and sacrifice.

At the end of that agony came empathy, and at the end of that empathy I saw a constellation.

[THE BIG DIPPER]

Big Dipper. 

The group of stars that guided the lost. Reaching out my hand towards them.

Take my life if you must. Just grant me the power to survive among them, and to find a path where they will not grieve.

Grasping the stars in my hand, I survived. I gained the strength to survive among those villains.

I was not subjugated by the stars, nor chosen by them.

I chose the stars.

What I bear is not desire or duty, but will and responsibility.

The stars are impartial.

The price for the power they granted is exacted with certainty.

If I do not move forward, there is only death. If I break my vow, I will only meet the death I had postponed.

This is my origin.

[ORIGIN.]

Transform or die.

Knowing my origin, my ideal, and what I must do. A firm resolve found through fear.

Seven stars rose from the belt, crossed the sky, and returned to my body.

Within that sea of light, a clear armor appeared, enveloping me.

The armor was cracked and unstable, but that instability was no reason to hesitate.

I have no doubts about the path I must take.

I march forward with conviction.

***  

Ippotranslation

***

Red Vega swung her fist. With the propulsive force of flames added, it was a punch capable of easily tearing through a building’s wall.

But Libra caught it with her chest.

“How powerless you are!”

She too raised her fist and struck Red Vega’s abdomen. Along with the grotesque sound of twisting flesh, a painful groan burst from her mouth.

“Ugh, ack…”

Unable to withstand the impact, Red Vega was flung far into the sky. It was an unintended flight.

Like all wingless beasts, Red Vega shot up and then plummeted back to the ground, her body tumbling across the earth.

Where she finally landed, there were citizens she had to protect.

“Red Vega…”

An anxious voice. Meaning her current state was inadequate. Red Vega reignited her determination.

“It’s alright!”

Exhaling heavily, she clenched her fist and rose again.

[The guardian….]

Red Vega gritted her teeth.

Is this the move I have to use after all? But now there’s no turning back. Endurance also has its limits. Reinforcements don’t seem to be coming.

As a hero, she had to risk her life.

[Guardian, no! If you do that, you’ll…]

“I’m sorry, Ribbon.”

Red Vega grinned wryly.

“Looks like I can’t keep my promise.”

The gem at the center of Ribbon’s choker burned like lava.

“Wait, what?”

KWAAANG!!!

A massive fireball was expelled towards Libra, but it wasn’t from Red Vega. It erupted furiously from her right side.

“Still so weak.”

A man strode forth, dispersing the flames.

“Get out of the way, pitiful creature.” 

Bearing the mark of the Big Dipper on his belt, the towering figure in green armor. Though his armor was now red, she did not mistake his identity.

“That one is my enemy.”

The villain who has helped her numerous times before.

The Big Dipper villain has arrived here.