Transformation or Death

Chapter 47

Bonus Chapter thanks to Kizu Hana sub to Dual star @BuymeaBeer

Like a Comet in Your Heart (8)

[Body temperature has dropped. Heart rate has decreased. Excessive bleeding state. Stop the bleeding. Transformation is not recommended in the current condition.]

His vision was red. His sight was shaking and he couldn’t focus properly. His head was dizzy, his stomach was churning, and he was trembling. Unable to properly oxygenate his blood, he was gasping for breath while his body screamed a silent scream that he was about to die.  

[Transformation is not recommended. Seek urgent medical treatment. Repeating once more…]

Belt kept ringing out warnings nonstop. A warning that meant life could not be sustained.

Transformation puts a considerable strain on the user’s body.  

That’s why when the user took a life-threatening attack, the transformation was forcibly canceled.

To protect the user’s life.

“Girl, I’ll say it one more time. Move away from there.”

Libra sternly warned Baek Ah-hee.

“You, where is that determination you had before? You’re not giving up the fight just because death is staring you in the face, are you? If so, I’m greatly disappointed.”

Han Jae-jung couldn’t believe it. He was ambushed and brought to the brink of death, and now they wanted to fight? He spat out the blood pooling in his mouth and laughed.

At the same time, he realized the purpose of this ambush.  

Libra was testing him now.

When on the verge of losing his life, unable to even transform, in the weak human body state, could he still dedicate himself to protecting her?

That’s what he was asking.

He was disgusted.

What right did she have to inflict pain and put him to the test?

“Ah…”

What was the difference between what she was doing now and what he had done to Red Vega before?

Forcing others to meet her own standards.

In the end, she was no different from him now.

Arrogantly, as if she had some kind of qualification, she inflicted pain and persecution.

To the one who needed warmth and comfort more than anyone else, to the one who was in more of a hurry than anyone else, he rushed her even more urgently.  

He became a torrent, sweeping her away and taking her breath away.

He had vowed to protect her, but what was this disgrace?

‘I’ve only brought her pain.’  

He failed to protect her mentally and physically.

He had been careless. Of course a villain wouldn’t think about circumstances or mercy when acting.

They could naturally do surprise attacks like this too.  

He recalled the contradictory advice he had given before.

If you want to kill me, ambush me.

He certainly felt it. It makes sense for him to say that.

There’s nothing better than an ambush to kill someone.

Right now, he had caught the eye of several villains, so he should have been more prepared.  

It would have been better if she had at least transformed into Red Vega.

She came out in her ordinary form out of consideration for him. 

As a result, she too suffered quite a serious injury.  

It was all his karma.

His consciousness gradually faded. His vision was hazy, as if he had opened his eyes underwater or in a fog.

At the threshold of death, overcoming that fear, what Han Jae-jung looked at was not his own well-being and future, but the girl’s suffering.  

All he felt as he sat on the threshold of his limbs was guilt.

Along with that, he felt a glimmer of relief.

‘Still… Thank goodness…’

There were many regrets, but the hope was clear.

Today Libra’s purpose was him, not the girl, and the fact that the girl now knew fear.  

That fact was Han Jae-jung’s hope now.

Humans are multifaceted. The way they view a single incident is also like that.  

They can look at an incident they saw just yesterday with a different emotion today.  

They can even look at a single incident right now with various emotions.

It was an emotion akin to love and hate.

While resenting and regretting the mistakes he made, he also felt a glimmer of relief at the outcome that those mistakes eventually led to.  

It wasn’t a particularly unusual emotion.

If all went well, Red Vega might even be able to come back alive.

How gratifying a fact was that?  

In any case, Han Jae-jung was caught in a sucker punch.

If he didn’t transform, he would die from Libra’s attack, and if he did, the aftereffects of forcibly putting starlight into his weakened body would cause him to die.

There was no taking back what had already been done.

No matter how much he regretted it, the past wouldn’t change.  

If he had committed a sin, he had to repent.  

If he was resolved, he had to carry it out.  

If he had acted, he had to take responsibility for it.

Since he had nothing left, the only thing he could stake was his life.  

As he always had, he staked his life as his repentance, implementation, and responsibility.

As the maximum apology he could make, he decided to stake his life.

A one-sided apology might be a nuisance.  

But his oxygen-deprived brain, with blood no longer flowing, was incapable of the complex thought of considering others.  

Right now, he was consuming most of his strength just breathing.

‘Just a little… more…’

He tried to reach out to his belt, but no strength entered his hands. In the end, the belt in the shape of a sphere flew over and landed in his hand. With barely any strength in his fingers, it was more natural to say it landed there than to say he grasped it.

He felt like Libra was laughing at him.  

‘But in this state, how do I transform? Ah damnit, I’m sleepy. Is it night? No, was it daytime? Ah, I don’t know. Anyway, quickly…’

More old memories surfaced. The times when he was surrounded by villains, his stomach slashed open as he lay dying, felt vividly and dearly nostalgic. 

The past dreams and reality intermingled and overlapped like thin cellophane sheets, confusing his vision. As Han Jae-jung tried to get up, another starlight flickered before him.

“Dress up.”

It was Red Vega.

[Dress up your star!]

Flashy ribbons wrapped around the girl’s body, and those ribbons instantly turned into flames. Flames scattered in all directions. Libra stepped back, and some of the debris was destroyed.

The girl clad in magic had no hesitation. She smashed the remaining small debris that was on Han Jae-jung. 

“Hurry.”

Then she picked up Han Jae-jung with one arm. Her broken left arm, though wrapped in starlight, was too much to use.

However, her enhanced strength allowed her to carry an adult male with just one arm without issue.

Soon after, she took off. At the bottom of her feet, she expelled flames as compressed as possible. Like a missile, the girl flew up.

“Ah, don’t worry, I will take responsibility for sure…”

Red Vega’s words trailed off. Even she couldn’t be certain. High altitude flight is quite strenuous for an ordinary person.  

There’s the gravitational acceleration, the cold temperatures up high, and the fierce wind resistance.

Before taking him to the hospital, there was a possibility he could stop breathing.

The arm holding the man was wet. It was because of the blood. Blood continued to flow endlessly from his abdomen. She didn’t bother removing the steel pipe stuck in, as removing it would have caused more bleeding.

Red Vega was confused. What should she do now to save him?  

Could she even save him in the first place?

‘…What am I thinking?’

She clenched her teeth. The possibility of giving up disgusted her.

‘Take him to the hospital first, then immediately return to battle. That’ll do.’

She looked into the eyes of the man she was holding and smiled as hard as she could.

“I’ll take responsibility and save you.”

Han Jae-jung found her admirable yet pitiable, and smiled wryly.  

Like most lives, there was so much regret at the end.

In that not-so-long life, grain-like little moments flowed and overflowed. Before they could be gathered, they scattered in the wind, and the few traces left in the hand became regrets.

Another starlight appeared above his sight.  

‘How long have we been airborne?’

Libra had caught up.

“Fall. How unsightly for a hero to flee.”

That massive fist came towards them.  

Just as Han Jae-jung had enveloped her with his entire body when buildings collapsed, Red Vega hugged him tightly. Libra’s fist struck her squarely in the back.

“Argh!”

The flames she was expelling flailed as if swimming in the air, and the buoyancy she had felt turned into the fierce wind of a plummet.  

Like placing a seal on a book, Libra forced her down to the ground with her fist.

The ascent was fast, but the descent was faster. Like the rise and fall of a hero.

Just before hitting the ground, Red Vega regained her senses and attempted reverse thrusting and flight magic again to reduce the impact of the fall.

Bang!

Perhaps because she had ascended too vertically. She crash-landed near the collapsed building. The dust cloud scratched her throat.

“I will… definitely…”

Red Vega muttered forlornly. Her arms were already drenched in blood.  

His wound had opened up.

It was from her rough handling of the patient. The forced smile she had put on just moments ago was now impossible.

[Currently an S-grade villain has appeared in B-12 district!] 

[An S-grade villain in D-1 district…]

Familiar support requests came from the gemstone one after another. But no one would come here.

The girl’s expression hardened stiffly. It soon turned into a frown. It seemed like she would cry. But she held it in. A hero cannot show tears.

‘What am I doing?’

She couldn’t feel it was real. The life of the person who was laughing and chatting just moments ago was fading away.

A counselor for suicide prevention. 

It was a job she started to stop those who tried to take their own lives. But now she couldn’t save this one?  

‘What am I doing right now?’

The wind was cold.

With each breath, the chill came rushing in, shaking her wavering consciousness.  

It was early winter.

Winter for adults and children close to adulthood is special.  

It’s when they seriously decide what to do as an adult.  

The choice that will divide one’s life is being forced upon children who haven’t even lived half of half their lives yet.

Around this time, other people her age would be busy preparing for their futures.  

They would decide where to spend their youth, risking their lives and studying.

What was her youth to burn for? What was her future?  

What should she be preparing for now?

“I will… definitely…”  

Someone’s words flashed through her mind.

-How feeble.

Those words were right. She was feeble. So feeble that she seemed unable to protect even one person before her eyes, let alone others. No, she couldn’t even protect herself.  

She realized it from just that one blow.  

No, she had known even before that.  

That villain was too powerful for her to defeat right now.  

Even more so with her injured body.

If only she were slower, but the villain could move faster than her.  

Was it possible to drive that villain away and save him?

Reality is cruel. The word ‘impossible’ shook her brain.

“I will definitely…”

She couldn’t say I will protect you. She had no conviction. She should say it forcibly, if she had to. She had to be a ray of hope for him.  

Right now, she was the only one who could save him.  

‘Is it because I’m weak…?’

The tear she had been holding back rolled down her cheek.   

What wiped that tear away was the hand of the man she was holding.

“Mr. Jae-jung…?”  

Just as she had smiled at him earlier, this time he smiled to encourage the girl.  

“It’s okay to run away.”  

“…?!”

Red Vega gasped in surprise. What was this person saying at a time like this when he was on the verge of death?

“I, I can’t do that…”

“As I said earlier, you are more precious and special than you think.”

Strangely, as he got used to the pain, his mouth started moving. Han jae-jung blankly met the girl’s eyes like someone under anesthesia as he spoke.

“You are a comet, but… You are too precious to fall and lose your light here. Don’t embrace everything and fall here. Don’t grieve, don’t blame yourself.”

Though knowing she should stop him, Red Vega couldn’t. His words carried an unusually strong power that compelled her silence.  

“Don’t cry. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

Or perhaps her subconscious wanted to listen to his words. Perhaps she wanted to feel at ease listening to him.  

The wavering girl still needed something to lean on.

The magical girl listened to him as a girl.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. All your suffering is not your fault. So don’t blame yourself.”

Han Jae-jung gradually raised his body that was leaning against her. 

“It doesn’t matter if you’re a magical girl or whatever. People have no obligation to save others. Moral actions and obligatory actions are different. So my current suffering is not your responsibility either. You shouldn’t blame yourself, but the cause that brought this suffering…you should blame the villain.”

Was it the last glimmer before death? As death brushed past his nose, Han Jae-jung was able to muster more strength than before.

“I’ll say it again and again. You’ve done nothing wrong. So your life should not be consumed for the sake of responsibility.” 

Han Jae-jung hugged the girl. He hugged her carefully and preciously, like hugging a bouquet made of dandelions.

Red Vega was not offended.

She didn’t feel any sexual intention from him at all.  

He simply encouraged the girl, purely.

“As a hero…you must not take your life lightly. As a magical girl who protects love and peace, you must love yourself and know how to keep your own peace.”

Her pure white outfit gradually became stained with blood. His abstract concept of life took on a tangible form.

“Even for a hero, what’s scary is scary. It’s natural to be afraid of something.”

Red Vega asked, “Even though I may abandon you out of such fear…?”

“I don’t resent you,” Han Jae-jung immediately answered.

“Didn’t I tell you before? To run away when it’s dangerous… Now is exactly that time.”

“…..”

“I said so myself, so how can I resent you? This is just a temporary retreat to seek help for a better future.”

Han Jae-jung released the arms that were embracing her. There was nothing holding the girl back anymore.

“You have plenty of better futures ahead of you. I don’t want to become the cause of your death.”

Once again meeting her eyes, he spoke a line. “Fear is hope itself.”

“…!”

The words he had tried to convey before.

The words conveyed in the wrong way before. 

He conveyed them once more.

“Fear is not your despair. When you move forward, you cannot see the whole and your vision narrows. Taking a step back to widen your vision is all, so you can see your dream in its entirety. Look at the whole of your dream.”

Han Jae-jung pushed the girl away.

For a long time, Red Vega stared into his eyes.

She had a mountain of things she wanted to say and ask, but remained silent for now.

“Go. Quick.”

Han Jae-jung gave his final words.

Soon after, Red Vega, with a hardened expression, flew into the sky.

Han Jae-jung watched this scene happily.

“Have you steeled your heart?”

“As you can see.”

As she disappeared from sight, the previously hidden Libra became visible. It seemed she had kindly given them time to talk.

“You think I’ll leave that girl who ran away alone?” 

“I have to stop you from doing that.”

Han Jae-jung smiled and pulled out the steel rod piercing his abdomen. Squish! A terrible sound of twisting flesh was heard.

Having pulled it out from his abdomen, he raised it up like a warrior drawing his sword.

“Hahahahaha!!”

Then he planted it into the ground. Using the steel rod as a crutch, he stood up.

“Good! Prove your justice to me!”

“Your tone is ridiculous.”

With his trembling right hand, he grabbed his belt.

“Yeah, let’s end this here today!”

He strongly pushed the belt against his abdomen. 

The belt strap wrapped around his blood-soaked waist and attached.

[Transformation is not recommended now……]

Ignoring the belt’s words, he shouted.

“Trans…”

Steadying his swaying feet and moving his body, he saw a red star at the end of his blurry vision.

A brilliance falling like a meteor, a distant starlight.

Eventually, that starlight struck the villain’s head with a splendid kick. 

Crack!

Libra was sent flying backwards, and the girl firmly planted both feet on the ground.

“…You said you wouldn’t resent me, right?”

“…Transform.”

Red Vega reappeared once again.

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