Vaudevillain

Dr. Zlo - The Musical! (5)

As the music stops, nobody moves for a beat or two. Then, a random Jacques jumps out of the crowd and punches Wondermans back. Wonderman doesnt seem to notice as the attack hits, standing in his heroic pose as the Jacques attempts to strike down the hero.

Citizen

Um. Wonderman?

Wonderman

Yes, random citizen?

As Wonderman answers, he turns to make eye contact with the citizen. The Jacques tries another punch, but Wondermans shoulder collides with the minion. The Jacques flies backward, windmilling off stage. The sounds of clattering debris sound. The Jacques walks back in, his outfit in tatters and his fake mask hanging off one ear.

Citizen

Nevermind.

Sweet Dream

Great, of all the people to show up.

Wonderman

No worries, miss! While Ive been told my presence has a certain effect on women, I am devoted to one lady only!

Wonderman whips out a framed photo of his love interest and sighs dreamily.

Citizens

Oh, hes such a hunk!

Sweet Dream gags.

Dr. Zlo steps forward with a sneer.

Dr. Zlo

Wonderman! I should have known you would arrive to spoil my party!

Wonderman whips around, his fists at the ready.

Wonderman

And Dr. Zlo! I should have pegged you as the mastermind of this devious plot when I heard about the missing ice cream trucks!

Dr. Zlo

Ah, but you didnt! And now I, Dr. Zlo! Will abscond with my bounty! Come, minions!

Sweet Dream

Ahem!

Dr. Zlo

Rolling his eyes. And associates most foul.

Sweet Dream nods.

Wonderman

Not so fast, Dr. Zlo! You wont get past me and my Wonderguard!

Wonderman poses, flexing his biceps to form a shimmering rainbow shield in front of him. (again, those not blessed with superpowers or money should make do with a painted rainbow shield falling from the rafters.)

Dr. Zlo

You do realize, Wonderman, that we can fly?

Dr. Zlo takes off with his rocket boots (or on wires) while Eville turns the money into a shimmering cloud that she and Sweet Dream sit on. (The less fortunate can use a green hammock suspended by wires or Jacques.) The three take off, trying to fly over Wonderman.

Wonderman

Hold it right there, evildoers! Face the might of my Wonderbreath!

Wonderman inhales, sucking with enough force to pull the three miscreants back to him. They topple over in a heap, Dr. Zlo somehow on top. Evilles power breaks, spilling the money all over the floor.

Civilians

Three cheers for Wonderman!

The crowd cheers, and Wonderman turns to wave in appreciation. The villains untangle themselves while hes distracted and huddle together.

Dr. Zlo

We need a plan.

Sweet Dream

Really? What gave you that idea?

Dr. Zlo

How was I supposed to know Wonderman would show up?

Sweet Dream

Anyone. Anyone would know that when you missed the giant red button sitting on the bank counter!

Dr. Zlo

It wasnt there the first time! I blame the universe. It cant handle a Dr. Zlo that succeeds.

Eville

What if I turned the street into gas, and we escaped through the sewers?

Dr. Zlo

Egads, no! Ive gone through enough sewers to last a lifetime.

Sweet Dream

I hate to agree with him, but I do.

Eville

Well, then how about I distract Wonderman with my feminine wiles?

Sweet Dream

Werent you paying attention when he pulled out that picture of his lady love?

Eville

I was mostly paying attention to those pecs.

Dr. Zlo

Quiet! I have a plan!

The three villains voices lower, leaving only whispers for a few seconds.

Sweet Dream

You know what. I like it.

Eville

Its sneaky!

Dr. Zlo

And its going to work!

The three villains break from their huddle and turn back to Wonderman, who now has a Jacques hanging on each arm like children playing on a jungle gym.

Dr. Zlo

Alright then, Wonderman! Since we cant go past you, well just go through you!

Dr. Zlo cackles and fires his laser. Wonderman drops the two Jacques and brings his Wondershield up to block. A bright flash of light followed by darkness gives the actors a chance to set up. When the lights come back on, Dr. Zlo and Wonderman are fighting cane to fist while Sweet Dream and Eville collect the money.

Wonderman

As he strikes at Dr. Zlo. Haha! Take that, fiend!

Dr. Zlo ripostes and follows through with a jab of his cane.

Dr. Zlo

Flattery will get you nowhere, Wonderman!

The two continue for a bit longer with many hohos and have at yous. Sweet Dream and Eville finish up and turn to Wonderman.

Eville

Do we really need to break this up? Dr. Zlo looks like hes having so much fun.

Sweet Dream

Yes. Im not wasting another minute listening to these two banter. Theres no imagination.

Sweet Dream jumps into the fight, transforming into chocolate. Eville follows in the villainess's wake, her hands up and ready. Wonderman quickly jumps back from Sweet Dreams swiping arms, posing in the air.

Wonderman

Have a taste of my Wonderwhirl!

Wonderman spins in place, shooting miniature tornadoes from his body at Sweet Dream. The villainess is knocked back off stage, her chocolate splattering across the audience. (Actually brown cotton to make sure those with allergies arent affected.) Eville chooses that moment to use her power, turning the air and water around Wonderman solid. (Dont ask me how to make this work; I think Ive done enough explaining.)

Wonderman

Struggling to break free. Ugh, agh! What malign machinations are these!

Dr. Zlo

This, Wonderman, is a trap! My partner Eville here can change the state of matter! So while you were preoccupied with us, Eville prepared the trap!

Wonderman

You... vile fiend! Dont think you can get away with this!

Dr. Zlo

Oh, but I will! Soon, I will be off with the bank's money, and theres nothing you can do to stop me!

Wonderman

How dare you run off with the peoples hard-earned money, villain! No doubt to use in some dastardly scheme!

Dr. Zlo

But of course! What else is money for?

Civilian

I find it useful to pay the bills!

Another Civilian

And for a nice meal every once in a while!

Another, another civilian

Personally, Im partial to gambling it all away on the blockchain.

Dr. Zlo blasts the last civilian with his laser.

Dr. Zlo

The blockchain is a perfectly reasonable evil scheme. One that I might use in the future! But no, this new capital will be used to fund my next venture!

Wonderman

Youll never get away with it! Whatever it is!

Dr. Zlo smiles.

Dr. Zlo

Curious, are we?

Sweet Dream finally recovers from Wondermans attack, crawling back up on stage to stand next to Dr. Zlo.

Sweet Dream

Do not, under any circumstances, explain your plan to him.

Dr. Zlo looks put upon.

Dr. Zlo

But Sweet Dream! The mans questioning my genius! I can see it in his smug little face!

Sweet Dream throws her hands in the air.

Sweet Dream

Fine! Do what you want. Im taking my share of the cash.

Sweet Dream walks over to Eville and holds out a hand. Eville hands a pile of money over after turning it back to a solid, which Sweet Dream promptly stores.

Sweet Dream

Come get me when it all goes wrong, okay?

Sweet Dream exits, leaving Dr. Zlo to monologue over Wonderman.