With My Profound Love, I Offer to the Years

Xiao Mubai first met Shen Nian at the beginning of his junior year, when she was a freshman who had just started college.0

Even when recalling that day later, Xiao Mubai still remembered it vividly.0

In truth, it was a very ordinary day, with sunshine as bright as ever, perhaps even a bit hotter than usual.0

But it was on this day that he saw Shen Nian.0

A University had a monument for outstanding students, where the names of students who had participated in major competitions or achieved significant accomplishments were recorded by the school.3

The September sun was still fierce, its strong rays making skin sting, and female students heading to class all carried parasols.0

Shen Nian stood under the blazing sunlight, gazing at the monument before her.3

The monument was large, and she tilted her head slightly upward. From Xiao Mubai's perspective, he could clearly see her slightly raised chin.0

She was very thin, her jawline prominently defined.0

The dazzling sunlight shone on her face, accentuating her distinct features.0

Though she stood in the scorching sun, surrounded by the bustling crowd, she exuded an otherworldly, cool aura that effortlessly made her the most eye-catching figure, drawing sideways glances from passersby.0

Including Xiao Mubai.0

When Xiao Mubai noticed her, she was staring at the monument. For some reason, at first glance, Xiao Mubai sensed a sadness about her, but he didn't know what she was looking at or why she seemed sorrowful.1

It wasn't until later that Xiao Mubai learned that on that day, she had been looking at Lu Lingchuan's name on the outstanding student monument.1

After that encounter, Xiao Mubai saw Shen Nian a few more times, in the library and the cafeteria.2

She was unique. While others were always in groups of three or five, she was always alone, without friends, not talking to anyone.0

Whether studying or eating, even when walking along the winding paths of the campus, one could only see her solitary figure.0

She looked very lonely, immersed only in her own world.1

It didn't seem like the world had abandoned her, but rather that she had abandoned the world.1

Xiao Mubai had never been one to meddle in others' affairs, but Shen Nian's uniqueness caught his attention.1

The chancellor of A University was an older brother of Xiao Mubai's mother, which made him Xiao Mubai's uncle.0

The university had landscaped an area of the campus with a small river, an arched bridge, a pavilion, and cobblestone paths. These were essential features, but the large expanse of lawn made it look too empty. After consulting with Xiao Mubai, the chancellor decided to plant a few trees a bit farther from the path.0

All the other saplings had successfully taken root, except for one that looked wilted and on the verge of dying.0

The chancellor thought it wouldn't survive and wanted to dig it up and replace it, but Xiao Mubai believed the tree wasn't dead yet and disagreed with removing it.0

Because of this, the two found themselves arguing by the small tree.0

Xiao Mubai firmly believed the tree could be saved and debated with his uncle, wasting no small amount of breath. Feeling parched and wanting to leave, he looked up and saw a graceful figure standing on the cobblestone path not far away, holding something in her arms, watching them intently.2

She seemed to find their argument interesting, her beautiful lips curled into a smile, gentle and shy.0

With just one glance, Xiao Mubai was stunned. He took the initiative to speak, "Hello, student..."0

Although he had seen her before, he didn't know her name.1

When Shen Nian heard his voice, her smile froze. She immediately withdrew her smile and turned to leave hurriedly.0

In her haste, she didn't even notice that she had dropped something.0

Xiao Mubai walked over, crouched down, and picked up the item.3

It was a folded A4 paper, but when he opened it, he found a pressed sunflower specimen inside.2

He looked up, but the graceful figure had already disappeared.0

For the next few days, Xiao Mubai didn't see her. To prove to his uncle that the tree could be saved, he would come every day during his lunch break to water and fertilize it, observing its condition.3

One day, due to some matters, he arrived half an hour late. As he hurried over with the watering can, he saw that familiar figure crouching beside the small tree, carefully tending to the soil.0

She seemed unfamiliar with tree planting, so she kept her phone in hand, frequently tapping and swiping the screen, occasionally looking up to carefully check the tree observation information Xiao Mubai had recorded on a tag hanging from a small branch.0

Xiao Mubai smiled, not approaching, but quietly watching her busy work from a distance.0

When she seemed to be nearly finished, he walked over and initiated conversation.0

"Hello, student. My name is Xiao Mubai. What's your name?"0

Shen Nian, absorbed in her task, was startled. When she looked up and saw Xiao Mubai, her eyes flashed with nervousness and avoidance. She gathered her things, ready to leave, but Xiao Mubai called out to her.0

"You dropped something last time," he said.1

Shen Nian ignored him.0

"It was a sunflower specimen. It must be something very important to you."2

If it weren't important, she wouldn't have been carrying it with her.0

Sure enough, Shen Nian stopped in her tracks, turned around, and reached out her hand: "Please return it to me."0

Xiao Mubai smiled slightly and took a white floating box from his pocket, handing it to her. "It was just pressed between paper, which could easily damage it. So I took the liberty of putting it in a floating box. This will protect it as much as possible, and you can open it anytime."0

Shen Nian took the floating box Xiao Mubai handed her, pursed her lips, and still said, "Thank you."1

Seeing that she was finally not avoiding him, Xiao Mubai tried to make conversation: "This sunflower specimen must be very precious to you."2

Shen Nian held the floating box close to her heart without speaking. Just as Xiao Mubai thought she wouldn't answer him, she spoke.0

"This was made by hand by my best friend."3

That's why she cherished it so much.0

At that time, Xiao Mubai didn't know Lu Lingrui, so when he heard her say this, he was momentarily taken aback, then his smile deepened.2

Cherishing a friend's gift so much showed she must be a very gentle girl.0

He asked again, "My name is Xiao Mubai. Can you tell me your name?"2

She pursed her lips: "Shen Nian."0

"Niàn?" There weren't many characters with this pronunciation, so Xiao Mubai immediately knew which character it was.0

But he still asked, "Is it the 'nian' from 'missing' or 'remembering'?"0

"..." Shen Nian didn't answer, only looking at him with an unreadable expression. Then she shook her head and corrected him.0

"It's the 'nian' from 'commemorating'."0

"Commemorate..." he murmured these words.0

The 'nian' from 'missing' and the 'nian' from 'commemorating' were actually the same character.3

"Most people rarely use this word to describe it."0

They would usually say it's the 'nian' from 'missing', 'longing', or 'never forgetting'.0

Because the character "dian" is usually used in the phrase "jidian" (meaning "to offer sacrifices to the dead"), which is considered inauspicious, it's only used in funeral ceremonies.0

"..." Shen Nian remained silent, still looking at him with that inscrutable gaze.0

Then, she quietly turned and left.0

For a while after that, Xiao Mubai didn't see her again. However, whenever he went to check on the little tree a bit later than usual, he would find signs of her presence.3

She must have been coming every day. When she saw him approach, she would leave without a word. On days when he was too busy to tend to the tree, she would appear and take over his tasks.1

He took the initiative to invite her to care for the little tree together.0

At first, Shen Nian was uncomfortable, but she agreed nonetheless.0

She didn't talk much and appeared shy. When silent, she seemed aloof, but while tending to the little tree, she was incredibly gentle and attentive. Occasionally, she would even smile.0

She had no friends and was all alone.2

After a period of care, the little tree, meeting their expectations, survived and began to thrive. Their relationship also grew closer, and she would occasionally initiate conversations with him.0

One day, as they were tending to the little tree as usual, he spoke up.0

"Nian Nian," he said.0

"Hmm?" she responded.0

Holding a small shovel in his hand, he watched her watering the tree and said, "In my eyes, you're a wonderful girl. If it's possible, would you consider dating me?"3

"Clatter..." The watering can slipped from Shen Nian's hands, spilling water onto her shoes.0

Shen Nian seemed not to notice. She just quietly looked at him for a few seconds, then wordlessly got up and left.0

Xiao Mubai thought his rudeness had offended Shen Nian and was about to apologize when she sent him a message, inviting him to meet on the arched bridge next to the little tree.0

When he hurried over, she was already there.0

Standing on the arched bridge, she was quietly gazing at the water below.3

He approached her, and when he was about three meters away and about to speak, she beat him to it.0

"Someone died here," she said.0

Xiao Mubai was stunned, not immediately grasping her meaning. He reflexively asked, "What?"0

Shen Nian turned to face him, pointing at her own belly: "Here."3

He immediately understood her meaning.0

Shen Nian saw the surprise in his eyes and gave a soft laugh. "So, I'm not as good as you imagine. I'm not a good person at all. Anyone who gets close to me becomes extremely unfortunate. Do you understand now?"0

The surprise in his eyes lasted only two seconds before disappearing. Most guys would have been scared off by now, but apart from his initial shock, Xiao Mubai quickly regained his composure.1

He asked her, "Was it voluntary or forced?"0

Although he didn't specify, she knew what he was asking. She nodded, "Voluntary."0

Xiao Mubai nodded, then asked, "And here?" He pointed at her belly with his index finger. "You said someone died. Was that voluntary or forced?"0

"..." This time, Shen Nian fell silent, her eyes filled with darkness.0

Her silence was the best answer. Xiao Mubai suddenly broke into a big smile: "So, I wasn't wrong about you."0

"..." She looked up at him, confused.1

"I don't know what you've been through in the past, and you don't have to tell me because that's your life. Everyone has a different life journey, experiencing things others won't. That's what makes our memories unique."0

"When I judge someone, I don't deliberately try to understand what they've been through or use that to evaluate whether they're good or bad. I trust my own eyes."0

"From the time we've spent together, I can see that you're a good person. You're not showy or calculating. Even if you repeatedly tell me how unworthy you are, I think I'd just laugh it off and not take it to heart."0

Shen Nian asked, puzzled, "Why?"3

Xiao Mubai smiled gently, "Because I simply can't believe that a girl who willingly spends so much time and patience caring for an abandoned little tree could be so terrible and unworthy."0

"..." Shen Nian was taken aback, then gave a wry smile. "I never realized you were such a persistent person."0

Persistent... In the past, when Shen Nian described Xiao Mubai this way, he had just smiled it off, not taking it to heart. It wasn't until later, upon careful reflection, that he realized how apt Shen Nian's description was.0

He was indeed too persistent. Once he set his mind on something, he would keep at it. Just like protecting Shen Nian - it was a firm belief from the very beginning. Even knowing she didn't love him, even knowing she couldn't let go of Lu Lingrui and Lu Lingchuan, he was unwilling to give up on her until he was certain of her happiness.0

Because her life had been too bitter - devoid of familial love, romantic love, and friendship.0

His presence might not give her much, but it could tell her one thing.0

Don't be afraid. No matter how difficult the road ahead is, I'm behind you. I'll be here to protect you.0

It was also after that conversation that they became very good friends.1

...0

Xiao Mubai stood at the entrance of the operating room, never before realizing how time could stretch so long, each minute and second seeming to slow down by thousands of times.0

He leaned dejectedly against the wall by the operating room door, lowering his gaze to look at the blood on his hands, so vivid, so glaring.2

Glancing at the time on his watch, he realized only ten minutes had passed, even though he had already meticulously recalled his entire history with Shen Nian.0

Finally, the light above the operating room went out, and the door opened. The doctor removed his mask but didn't speak, just shaking his head gravely at Xiao Mubai.0

Then, Shen Nian was wheeled out by a nurse, a white sheet covering her face.2

Upon seeing that white sheet, Xiao Mubai finally broke down, stumbling over to her.0

He bent down and grasped her hand that had fallen outside the sheet.0

It was so cold, so chilling.0

He couldn't see her face, only feel the iciness of her hand. The doctors and nurses quietly stepped back, not wanting to intrude on their moment.0

There was no heart-wrenching cry. He just knelt on one knee, holding her hand, and suddenly smiled.0

With reddened eyes, he looked at her and said, "I've been constantly thinking about how to keep you alive, but on careful reflection, I realize I've been too selfish. I never considered your feelings."0

Large teardrops fell onto the back of her hand as Xiao Mubai lowered his head to blow warm air on it, continuously rubbing her hand, hoping to warm it up even just a little...1

He remembered her saying that she liked to see him smile because his smile was so warm.0

If she liked it, he would smile. So he smiled, a big, broad smile.0

Scalding tears kept falling onto the back of her hand. Xiao Mubai quickly wiped them away. His eyes were alarmingly red, yet he was still smiling.0

"If living becomes too exhausting, then we'll stop living."0

"We'll stop living..."0

There's a saying that a man's knees are worth their weight in gold.0

But at this moment, in the hospital, outside the operating room, a man nearly six feet tall was kneeling beside the surgical trolley, holding a hand that would never grow warm again, repeating those five words over and over.0

Everyone present was moved; even the doctors and nurses' eyes reddened.0

...0

An elderly professor at A University was about to retire. For his final lecture before retirement, he invited all the students he had taught over his many years.0

This included Xiao Mubai, as well as Shen Nian.0

Originally, Xiao Mubai hadn't planned to attend, but considering how much Shen Nian respected this professor, he decided to go after all.3