With My Profound Love, I Offer to the Years

Chapter 31

The Lu family had three children, but Lu Lingrui was their only daughter. Lu Lingrui was clever and sensible since she was little, and could always make Li Mingshi and her husband laugh happily. So among the three children, Li Mingshi and her husband doted on their daughter more.

But Lu Lingrui suddenly passed away, which was an extraordinary blow to them.

Mother and son went to Lu Lingrui's tombstone, and happened to run into Shen Nian there.

Seeing Shen Nian, Lu Lingchen was a little surprised that she had come so early.

Shen Nian also heard the footsteps and looked up to meet the surprised eyes of Lu Lingchen and Li Mingshi, a bit unexpected.

They didn't usually come this early before.

But having met up, they naturally wouldn't avoid it.

Shen Nian stood up and nodded to Li Mingshi: "Auntie."

Li Mingshi didn't expect to see Shen Nian here. After the shock, it was anger.

"What are you doing here?"

"What have you come here for?"

"You selfish child, what right do you have to stand here?"

"Auntie..."

"Don't call me that!" Li Mingshi became emotional, her eyes slowly turning red: "You're a murderer! You killed my daughter. My daughter died to save you. How can you still show your face here!"

"......" Shen Nian was silent.

"Mom!" Lu Lingchen quickly pulled Li Mingshi, but she had lost control of her emotions and shouted at Shen Nian.

"Auntie didn't treat you badly before, and regarded you as her own daughter. But you, you ungrateful wretch!"

Glancing at the sunflowers next to Lu Lingrui's tombstone, she rushed over emotionally and smashed the flowers.

"What's the point of doing this now! She's dead, stop putting on a show!"

"My daughter is dead, she's gone! My little Rui was always afraid of pain since she was small, how painful it must have been for her to jump down from that high place!"

Li Mingshi suddenly burst into loud sobs, rushing forward to grab Shen Nian's clothes.

"You wicked child, why didn't you save her, why didn't you take her away with you!"

"Little Rui treated you so well, how could you bear to let her face all that alone, why didn't you take her away..."

"You're a wicked child, a wicked child..."

"......" Shen Nian just stood there like a log, staring blankly at the heartbroken Li Mingshi.

She wanted to speak, but her mouth was like glued shut, unable to move.

Li Mingshi cried until she was gasping for breath and couldn't stand steadily.

Lu Lingchen went forward and hugged Li Mingshi in his arms. "Mom, mom."

"Nian Nian, why didn't you bring little Rui out, why didn't you bring my little Rui out..."

Lu Lingchen looked up at Shen Nian: "Sis Nian, you should go first!"

Li Mingshi was crying herself into fainting. She couldn't see Shen Nian anymore.

Seeing Shen Nian was like seeing Lu Lingrui again, making her even more anguished.

Shen Nian retreated a step, moved her lips, but still didn't say anything in the end. She turned around and left.

Today was Lu Lingrui's birthday, the day of her torment.

Li Mingshi thought of her daughter whom she had painfully given birth to and raised with such effort, but was now just a handful of ashes lying there alone. That kind of heart-wrenching pain was simply impossible for most people to understand.

After being comforted by her younger son, it took Li Mingshi a very long time to finally calm down somewhat. She stared at Lu Lingrui's tombstone with tears flowing, placing the sunflowers she had brought next to it.

Little sunflower Rui, how could you bear to leave your mama. You heartless, wicked child...

Her gaze swept to the side, where the smashed sunflower bouquet on the ground had been brought by Shen Nian for Lu Lingrui.

Li Mingshi's eyes reddened again, silently shedding tears.

Wiping away some tears, she still picked up the sunflowers from the ground and placed them next to her own bouquet.

.............................................

After leaving the cemetery, Shen Nian went to a bar that was open 24 hours. There weren't many people during the day, so it was quiet inside.

She sat in a corner, holding a glass, drinking one after another until she got drunk and just slumped over the table. When she sobered up, she continued drinking again. She spent the whole day numbly like this.

When Lu Lingchen rushed over, the table in front of Shen Nian was already piled with all kinds of liquor bottles. Seeing that she was still drinking, Lu Lingchen frowned and strode forward to snatch the glass from her hand.

"Don't tell me you've been drinking all day?"

Shen Nian's body swayed and she blearily opened her eyes. Seeing it was Lu Lingchen, she tugged her lips into a smile.

"You're here."

"Yes." Lu Lingchen put the glass back on the table and sat down opposite her.

With the alcohol taken away by Lu Lingchen, Shen Nian leaned her elbows on the table, propping up her head. After a moment, she spoke.

"How is Auntie now?"

"Nothing serious. After seeing Lingrui, I called a doctor to examine her when we went home. She was just emotionally agitated and will be fine after some rest."

"That's good." Shen Nian nodded absently. "Little Rui was closest to Auntie. If she knew I upset Auntie, she would definitely blame me."

"You know, my mom has always really li..."

Lu Lingchen was about to say his mom had always really liked you, because that was the truth.

Back then when Lingrui was still around, she would bring Shen Nian home every few days. Shen Nian was so well-behaved and sensible that Li Mingshi really liked her and treated her like her own daughter. Sometimes even Lu Lingrui would jealously grumble that mama's little cotton-padded jacket had been replaced by Shen Nian instead of her.

Until after the incident...

All these years, Li Mingshi had been in great pain. Even though she knew Shen Nian was also a victim, even though she knew the ones who really harmed Lu Lingrui were those two drunkards, in her grief over the loss of her daughter, she simply couldn't think rationally about any of this.

She had trapped herself in a vicious cycle, so she blamed Shen Nian.

Why did she have to leave by herself that year, why didn't she bring Lingrui along.

If at that time Shen Nian had pulled Lingrui to run away together, wouldn't her Lingrui still be alive now, still able to laugh happily, still able to softly call her mama, still able to, still able to...

"......" Lu Lingchen stopped halfway through what he was saying, but Shen Nian knew what he meant.

She gave a self-deprecating laugh.

That's right, it used to be fondness before, now probably only hatred remained.

She stared blankly at the glass of alcohol in front of Lu Lingchen that she had just drunk. "Lu Lingchen."

"I'm here."

"Have you heard of a green fairy?"

A green fairy? What was that?

Lu Lingchen looked at Shen Nian puzzledly.

Shen Nian curved her lips slightly and slowly said, "A green fairy is a cocktail, Van Gogh's favorite. It's said to have hallucinogenic effects."

This drink had accompanied her through the most difficult times.

Lu Lingchen understood her meaning, but still said, "Girls shouldn't drink too much, it's not good for your health."

Shen Nian just smiled without responding.

She had long stopped caring about her own life. To her, dying tomorrow or the day after felt all the same.

"What did you come to find me for? You haven't said yet."

Just now when Lu Lingchen called her, he said he wanted to talk to her, which was why she had told him her location.