Zaregoto

There are only absolutes in this world.

... Huh?

I noticed that there was some sort of vibrating sound, and upon opening my eyes, I found myself inside a car. To give a more precise description, I was in the passenger seat of a Cobra painted completely in red. It appeared I was in such a strange place. So, the vibrating sound would be that of a running engine, which would mean that this car was currently in the middle of moving, which would lead to the conclusion that someone was sitting in the driver's seat. My mind did not go through such a needlessly elongated thought process, but in any case I glanced toward the driver's seat. As I expected, Aikawa-san was sitting there, whistling in a carefree way (the song was, terrifyingly, the first opening for The Tale of the Heike), with one hand on the handle, and the other playing with her bangs. Wind readily blew through the car's interior because of it was a convertible and she seemed to be fretting over her hair being tussled about.

"Hm? Ah, Ii-tan, you're awake? Good morning-."

"Yeah... Good morning," I replied, lightly shaking my head. "Um... where are we?"

I asked Aikawa-san as I watched the scenery zipping by. We seemed to be on the highway, making it hard to tell our current location. At the very least, I was sure we were not in my apartment anymore. Huh. No, rather than asking where I was, it's more appropriate to ask why I was in the middle of a drive with Aikawa-san. I could think of no answer.

"Huh... it appears my memory is hazy."

"Really- it was so troublesome!" Aikawa-san suddenly said in a loud, rising voice, as she turned toward me. "Hm. Looks like you've forgotten! I guess it can't be helped, since you were involved in such an incident, no one can blame you for losing your memory out of shock. After all, you were involved in such an incident."

"'S-such an incident', you say?"

She was even using staccato standard equipment.

What...? It seems that I'd forgotten, but I had been dragged into some incident with Aikawa-san again. I understand, then my presence in Aikawa-san's beloved car was be a situation that would be considered natural and understandable.

"Right. And I can't explain it with a single word. It was a violent tragedy," Aikawa-san said with an extremely serious expression. "If I were a step slower, you may have died..."

"D-died?! Come to think of it, my head feels like it aches for some reason..."

"Yes, that's what happened after the enemy attacked you. No, not just any enemy, it was an extremely strong enemy that had quite some ability. After you became unconscious... ah, no, I mean while you were unconscious, I took care of everything."

With that, Aikawa-san spoke at great length and carefully explained everything that happened to me over the past three days to cover for my lost memories. While it was a story of only three days, it was at the same time a story about combat and warfare, tragedy and strangeness, a tragedy with bloodshed and lumps of flesh, and most of all, a story about love and tears. I had encountered death a multitude of times, and each time I was saved by Aikawa-san at the last possible moment. Climbing through such a trail of death unscathed would be considered a miracle. If Aikawa-san was not narrating this preposterous tale, I would never have believed it.

"Is that so? Forgetting such a terrible incident... something is definitely wrong with me. Allow me to thank you once more."

"Hey hey don't be like that. It's ticklish," Aikawa-san shrugged her shoulders. "We're close enough not to have to thank each other, y'know?"

And then she stuck out her thumb toward me, smiled brilliantly, and gave a light wink. She looked ridiculously cool. No, not just cool. What a wonderful person. There are not many people this wonderful. Perhaps I had been misunderstanding Aikawa-san all along. I had been thinking she was sarcastic and narcissistic and only looked at me as a toy, but this belief may need some revision.

"No, no, I will repay this debt. Not once or twice, I shall return it thrice, without any complaints, and I would insist so forcefully and relentlessly, and even if you were to refuse, without accepting no as your answer, I shall return the favor. Yes, if anything troubles you, please come to me."

"Really now. Ah, right... if you say you feel that strongly, I'd start to feel bad for crushing your pure determination..." Aikawa-san said, looking troubled. "Right. Come to think of it, coincidentally, in other words, it just happened to be the case, there's something I can only ask of you. Will you accept it?"

"Of course. Leave it to me. The user of nonsense will die for you."

"That's great." smiled Aikawa-san.

It had a hint of evilness in it.

"Actually, right now, we're in the middle of heading toward that place that I need your favor in. Umm, Sumiyuri Academy. Know of it?"

"Of course; I have at least heard of the name."

"From the name then, what do you know?"

"Let's see...

"Sumiyuri Academy. A special school for the super elite situated just outside Kyoto renowned for being even harder to get into than the harder of the hardest schools -- in other words, for the ojou type. Your grades and lineage and name were considered heavily, and some even called it a school for training the privileged elite, such a peerless development organization it was, and an ordinary person like I had no chance of even becoming acquainted with it.

"Hm. That's it."

"Yes. Schools are -- not just Sumiyuri, by the way -- secretive about their inner workings, so it is hard to find information leaks. What I said just now was just something I randomly heard from Kunagisa once, too."

"Ah? What does Kunagisa-chin know? She's an ojou of ojou too, but she's a hikikomori, so school should be irrelevant to her."

"She's interested in the uniforms. Despite how she seems, she's quite into bloomers and school uniforms. She was wailing, Uni-, Sumiyuri is the only school uniform I can't get-."

"Huh. There're things even she can't get her hands on. Sounds like some sort of miracle."

"No, not really, but she said, While my eyes are black, I won't give up!"

"She has blue eyes."

"So I guess she gave up. So, what about Sumiyuri Academy?"

"Ah, yeah. What I wanted to ask you a favor of -- get into the academy in that outfit, and escort a certain student."

Having been told that outfit, I finally noticed that I was not wearing my usual casual attire. No, more accurately, I noticed I was in an extremely abnormal outfit. The upper half was a short-sleeve with a darker than black color, with a button placed over both the left and right of my chest and with a line of color that was abnormally large. It was what you would call a sailor collar, and it naturally had a colored scarf draped over it. And the lower half was what you could call a refined, and of the same color as the upper half -- pleated skirt. Not perhaps, not maybe, not possibly, not even slightly, was it clothing for males.

"That's a Sumiyuri Academy uniform. Y'know, I wasn't really worried because you're flowery, but that really suit you. Your hair's grown out a nice bit, and if you let your bangs down, it'll be perfect. Not having any characteristics is really useful at these times."

"...Why," I asked, coolly smothering my slight confusion, "...Why am I wearing such a strange and fancy outfit?"

Is gender a theme this time? Human rights are a pretty annoying topic, you know. It is not something young people should really deal with.

"I changed your clothing while you were sleeping. But I had no choice, since your clothes were drenched in the blood of the victims. I totally wasn't intending to drag you into this, just so we're clear."

"I would not even think of such a thing. However, um, this outfit is extremely embarrassing for a ninteen-year-old male..."

"What're you going on about? Cross-dressing for detective work is quite basic in mystery novels. You can call it expected without fail, standard among standard. Even the esteemed Holmes cross-dressed on a daily basis."

"I don't know of such a person."

"Mugen Majiya cross-dressed in three chapters. Of course, I'm just talking about the adventure theater arc."

"I prefer the bizarre arc..."

"Even that ghost world detective wore a skirt when investigating a girls' high school."

"Are you saying that counts as an example?"

"Jojo cross-dressed during the second arc when he was infiltrating the Nazis, too."

"You're saying that counts!?"

"They say MacArthur was forced to wear skirts when he was a kid."

"Don't escape to famous historical figures..."

"Yamato Takeru no Mikoto..."

"You're not above unfastening the ropes around legends as well..."

"Zerozaki-kun said he likes cross-dressing as a hobby."

"Don't tell a lie that sounds like the truth."

"Hikari likes boys that cross-dress."

"Don't tell obvious lies!"

I can almost see white alligators...

Also, Aikawa-san likes shounen manga more than I would've imagined.

"How can I help it? It's an all-girls high school, so a guy can't go in looking like a guy."

"Well, yes, that is true..."

Wait, should I be saying that is true? I felt like there was something fundamentally wrong with a more obviously wrong thing at a very basic level.

"Ah, whatever. Shut up. Didn't you just swear you'd do to whatever I say?" finally Aikawa-san began threatening. "Ah? Maybe you lied to me?"

I swear that I did not remember having sworn away my minimal human esteem, but as Aikawa-san said, I couldn't ignore the debt I owed her. I understand, I nodded. After all, infiltrating an all-girls high school would not be easy even for Aikawa-san to do. Organizations called schools glide squarely upon the rails of rules. And we are referring to Sumiyuri Academy, so the problem becomes exacerbated. There would be a bit of difficulty in Aikawa-san wearing this uniform and infiltrating an all-girls high school (though personally I could not throw away my curiosity with regards to how she would look), and I would not be able to enter in my normal clothing. It was still a mystery why Aikawa-san chose me, but if I could help in any way, I might as well help. I was bored after all.

"Here's your fake school ID. You'll need it during the ID check going through the front gate."

"Ah, thank you." A photo of me was on the school ID. It seemed like this situation had been planned from the start. "Um... you said to escort a student? So is this job about finding somebody?"

Aikawa-san's profession -- contractor. In other words, no matter how difficult a job may be, as long as she is paid, she will take the job and perform it. For example, she may be asked to solve an impossible murder case or collect information or smuggle illegal items or eliminate serial killers or even something like looking for a person. But is there anyone that would painstakingly seek out the contractor known under the title Mankind's Strongest for a mere search?

"It's a bit different from finding someone, buuuuut maybe it's a bit like that. Sumiyuri Academy is an all-dorm school with tight security. It's a big job just getting one person out from inside. I could just get in and start rampaging, but I was asked to try to raise as little fuss as possible."

As little fuss as possible -- that would definitely be difficult for Aikawa-san. For a woman who goes by the thought-process of, "it's faster to punch someone than to think," even a logic-based impossible murder case can turn into a hard action incident.

"Anyways, Ichihime... that's the name of the student, by the way, rescuing the student named Yukariki Ichihime from the Academy is our job this time."

"Rescue... you make it sound like the Academy is locking that girl up."

"It's like that. Schools are facilities that lock students up, y'know? Of course, the people being locked up call that care."

Aikawa-san said, not explaining any further. It wasn't the first time for her to do something like that, as she did not reason anything from her profession, and did not like actions such as explaining or analyzing. It is, in other words, just that--. That type of simpleness was deeply ingrained in Aikawa-san's roots. For a person fanatic about logic, who believes that rules and tools (reason) are intertwined, it was a mindset that inhabited a place that I would never be able to reach.

"... Well, I won't ask about specific details. I'm not that interested anyways. I just -- uh, Yukariki-chan, I think her name was? I have to find her and make sure she gets out safely, right?"

"I love you Ii-tan, you're so understanding. Ah, but you don't need to find her. We're going to meet up. Here, take this."

What was placed on top of my fake school ID was what I would guess to be a blueprint, probably of the interior of Sumiyuri Academy. On that small piece of paper was a single red dot symbolizing a location. It seemed that was where we were to meet up. It read Grade 2 Class A.

"I'll leave it to you to figure out how to get her out. Ask Ichihime herself about specifics... she will be able to explain better."

By the way 'she' was said, I could tell there was a unique friendship between Aikawa-san and Yukariki-chan. It appeared Aikawa-san and that girl had some sort of relationship. If that were the case, this time it was half her job and half her personal situation, probably.

"And, finally this... the target's face," Aikawa-san said, placing on top of the blueprint a single photo. "However that was taken when Yukariki was twelve-years old, so you'll have to imagine how she looks five years later."

"Five years later, during her adolescence... Wouldn't she look much different?"

As I stared at the photo, I started to feel anxious. The cherubic smile of a girl in her preteens was shown in that photo. She was not laughing out of sarcasm, nor laughing out of innocence, nor laughing out of masterpiece, but rather just a pure smile. For a certain sect of men with a certain special taste, it would be unforgettable. To imagine her growth of five years based on the photo -- a sophomore in high school -- I was certain she had become quite a beauty.

"Why're you staring at it so much? Ii-tan, are you into lolis? Don't touch her, all right?"

"As if. I dislike younger people," I dropped the photo face-down on the blueprint. "Of course, if she had grown to be older than me, I would have to think about it."

"Your sexual preferences are too simple and thus they've become complex... Well, in any case, that's that. We'll still be driving for a bit, so feel free to sleep."

"Understood... ah, may I, one thing?"

"What?"

"When this job is done, can I take this uniform? Kunagisa will probably want it."

Aikawa-san cynically laughed and said, "Do as you wish." returning to focus on driving. That meant that on the highway to that point, she hadn't been focusing on driving, which was a terrible thing to know. I rubbed my stomach, which still had some sort of damp pain that would not go away, and decided to flip the photo back up to get another look at Yukariki Ichihime's face.

Hmm, I didn't really understand,

but she had an expression that stirred interest in me.

Yes, the aura she emitted...

"Perhaps I can, without saying any nonsense, enjoy this..."

1. Referring to her saying "such an incident" in beat
2. Clear Lilly
3. upper-class ladies
4. Ku(nine)nagisa(beach) Tomo(friend), this name's a bit weird (it's played on later) in that it's Ku Nagisa, similar to like Da Brian. It's also an anagram of Kusanagi.
5. Mu(dream)gen(illusion) Ma(demon)ji(real)ya(other), also majiya is a way of saying "for real" in some dialects, although I'm not sure if that was intended
6. Yukari(purple)ki(tree) Ichi(one)hime(princess) I don't think this has a particular meaning

2

What can the phrase 'a fine life' be referred to? Needless to say, an absolute value would require a clear line between fortune and misfortune. However, if one considers any fortunate situation to be unfortunate, then he must feel like he is in the midst of misfortune. On the other hand, if someone in any unfortunate situation one perceives it to be fortunate, then they must feel like they are in the midst of fortune.

For as long as things are perceived to be fortunate or unfortunate, then all decisions from start to finish must rely upon individual perceptions. For instance, is the person who strikes jackpot in a lottery fortunate? Normal people would say he was blessed. But for him personally to feel blessed, they must have experienced the misfortune of not hitting the jackpot. If he is a person who has consistently hitting the jackpot, then that event would no longer be fortunate, but rather just a single blip in his daily life. Of course, the opposite also holds true. How many people truly bemoan the misfortune of not striking jackpot in a lottery?

As a result, people can only understand fortune and misfortune through relativity. This means there is truly no such thing as the word "equal." It means that there is nothing that exists so all things are perceived equally. Fortune and misfortune are connected, and by looking at things as a whole and not individually, they offset and become zero--

I thought of such tomfoolery as I walked down the halls of Sumiyuri Academy. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous, but infiltrating Sumiyuri Academy was astonishingly simple. I did not like admitting it, but as you would expect from Mankind's Strongest contractor, the fake personal ID was perfect. I also did not like admitting my disguise was also perfect. Several times we had passed by other students wearing the pure black sailor uniform, and none had so much as glanced at me with suspicion.

Is it really all right for it to be this simple, I would almost think, but as the infiltrator, I had no right to complain. That would be a very 'the guilty are audacious' way of thinking. Instead I should be pleased, as this meant I could wander around the Academy without being suspected of anything. Of course, I couldn't pull out the blueprint while I was inside the school, so I had to rely on my memory to reach the meeting place -- the classroom for Grade 2 Class A. If a student of a school she had long attended was using a blueprint or cocking her head to the side while walking about, anyone would think something was wrong with her head.

"It seems like an ordinary school to me..."

As an ojou school as well as an esteemed school for the gifted, I had expected incredible sorts of abnormalities. However, if you thought about it, it might be incorrect to expect something extraordinary out of an educational facility. Still, I could not help but feel a bit let down.

"Since this is a request from Aikawa-san, I imagined something a lot worse than this... but this looks like the will go smoothly. Risky risky."

I don't think that I quite understood the use of risky risky, but that hardly mattered. I climbed the stairs, and then after losing my way for a bit, I found the classroom for the 2nd-year A class. There wasn't anyone around. What good timing. It wasn't like extreme stealth was expected of me, but I preferred not being noticed over being noticed.

However -- I thought with one-sided suspicion -- I was able to walk straight in through the front gate -- now that was odd. To be able to enter that easily meant it would also be that easy to leave, wouldn't it? I had expected rules or regulations preventing students from leaving, but that didn't seem to be the case. So, Yukariki Ichihime-chan should be able to leave the school without needing Aikawa-san or my helping hand, I reasoned. Let alone being able to meet me meant that she was not restrained.

If I had given a little more thought at this point, perhaps the bizarre atmosphere covering this school -- the aura that leaked out of it, that is -- I might have noticed something odd about it.

However, I did not think that deeply, instead placing my hand on the door of the 2nd-year A class, opening the door and entering. The classroom was a perfectly ordinary high school classroom. Of course, I had never officially gone to a high school, so I couldn't say for certain.

However, that didn't matter. What did matter was that the classroom was empty.

"... Huh?"

How bothersome. I had placed quite a bit of excitement into meeting Lady Yukariki, so this was quite disappointing. Perhaps she was hiding somewhere in the classroom. If she was hiding, then where--

Huh. I felt like the locker for cleaning equipment shook a little bit. However, the windows of the rooms were closed, which made air circulation almost nonexistent, so what reason would cause the locker to shake on its own? Ah, so that means she must be inside. I see, a hiding spot that a high school student would think of as being the most ideal. She was probably looking at me from inside with a mischievous grin, expecting the person who had to come to pick her up would be standing dumbfounded, but I couldn't stand to be taken lightly. The me from three days ago may have fallen for that trick, but in these three days I had overcome ten to twenty thresholds of death, so I, who had evolved as a human, would never fall to a trick like that.

"Huh-? She's not here- this is bothersome-."

I mumbled, as I walked closer to the locker. Yes, if I kicked it with all my might, she would come stumbling out. Children who play tricks need to be punish. I stood in front of the locker, and just as I thought -- left or right foot?

A chill.

I felt something cold on my skin. And at the same time, something was stuck against my back. It was fairly thick, and hard-- like a gun--

"Hands in air!"

I raised my hands as commanded. I didn't turn. I didn't need to turn to guess who was holding me up. The voice was young -- or rather, baby-ish, and belonged to a girl. And from its location I could tell she was significantly shorter than me.

I see, the locker was a decoy... I fell for quite a simple trap. That was an embarrassing mistake coming from a person who lived through cases of death. I would understand wholeheartedly if Aikawa-san were to tell me that story was a completely a lie.

"Who are you?"

In response to the question from behind, I answered quite calmly and light-heartedly, "An errand boy for Aikawa Jun.

"But I have no name to tell you. I am proud that I have only given my real name to another person once in my whole life."

"...?"

In response to my strange answer, the feeling on my back lightened for just a moment. It wasn't something that could be called an opening, but I had been waiting for that moment. I twisted my body to the left. I was going to charge forward with the expectation of a mutual strike, but before I could fully turn, it appeared I had rushed things too much, since I tripped on my feet, and ended up toppling quite clumsily. The enemy, of course, did not miss that opportunity, creating some distance and then placing the object to my forehead--

The object being, an alto recorder.

"...That's quite a greeting you have there."

"I'm sorry. I've been taught that if you see someone you don't know, you should try to erase your presence and then get behind them."

The girl said, raising the recorder and then flicking her wrist to hold it at an angle, like a conductor of a band.

"I... see..." I swatted the end of the recorder away and stood up. "... Then I will give you an adult-like greeting."

I looked at the girl from the front. At the girl in a black uniform with a pouchette slung from her shoulder.

There was no mistaking that she was the girl from that photo. Yes, there was no mistaking it. Even though the photo was taken five years ago, she looked exactly the same. You could even say that she had never grown even an inch between those five years. She couldn't be called petite, as her entire body was small. Her face was more babyish than cherubic. And then-- and then that innocent smile.

"I'm pleased to meet you, Yukariki Ichihime-chan."

1. He uses risky risky but uses it in a way similar to "knock on wood," which is... not what it means.