Canon Fodder

CHAPTER 227 BENDER

“Fuck,” I said as I woke up locked in a cell. The others were locked in with mel. I guessed my drug resistance allowed me to wake up a little more quickly. Looking around there wasn’t much to the room. Thick metal bars in front of me, we were inside a larger room with metal walls. A door opposite me it looked like a button next to it opened the door up. 

Mentally thinking of the researcher, I couldn’t remember his name, but he told me, so I felt him further inside somewhere. At the same level as us I made a note to capture him again to continue making his life hell. 

Thinking on Luffy and the others they were way above us. Probably on the surface somewhere. I cursed inwardly as I got up. I was a little surprised to find someone already there. 

He wore a kimono. A small goatee on his chin he had a topknot on his head. 

“I know you,” I said slowly, remembering. “You’re a samurai, right?”

“I am, I’m surprised you know what that is,” the man said. “I am called Kinemon.”

“I’m Weston. You’re from Wano, aren’t you?” I asked. Kinemon had spent a lot of time with the Straw Hats. I thought he showed up on the next island for some reason. 

“…yes,” he said slowly. “But I am here looking for my son. He was taken some time ago.”

“Right, right,” I mumbled. Unsure if I should confront him with the truth or play along. The others started waking up so I decided to play along. 

“Weston, what happened?” Sanji asked, sitting up. 

“Fart knocked us out,” I said. I really wanted the name to stick. “In some kind of holding cell. Let’s wake the others and make our way out.”

“I’ve tried everything to get out,” Kinemon said. 

“Well we haven’t,” I said. Moving down I slapped Chopper awake as Nami sat up. 

“Is it breakfast?” The reindeer asked as he got up. 

“Yep, once we break out at least,” I said. Chopper wiped his eyes and slowly looked around. I stood and walked to the barred door. Not in the mood for training I cooled the locked latch rapidly, then heated it until it was red. With a simple jerk it burst open. 

The others acted like it was no big deal. Kinemon was a little more freaked out. “Enough,” I told him. “We are going to go save some kids, then get out of here.”

“Yes, I need to save my son,” he said, becoming stoic once more. I nodded and opened the door to find 2 guards set up outside. Knocking them out I extended my Haki as we ran down the hall. 

“Any idea where to go?” Sanji asked. 

“Up is my guess,” I said as we came to some stairs. A couple of guards yelled our way. Leveling weapons at us Sanji and I knocked them out and we continued on. 

I almost missed them as we ran past room after room. But then I felt a giant presence with a small Haki as we moved. Screeching to a halt I turned us into a room to find a larger nursery. Inside were a wide range of kids from normal height all the way to 20 feet tall. 

“Who are you?” One of the big ones asked. 

“I’m a ninja, we’ve come to save you,” I said. 

“A ninja?!” A few boys asked. I made 3 shadow clones and started helping to usher them along. 

“Your parents sent us,” I told them. “We need to break out of here.”

“Finally,” more than one kid cried out. It was surprisingly easy to get them going. 

“What about our illness?” A girl much taller than me asked. 

“We can talk about that later. Come on!” I said as more guards burst in. 

“Wait! My son. Has anyone seen my boy, Momonosule?”

“I saw him, he went that way, but I haven’t seen him since. It’s been days,” she said.

Kinemon didn’t hesitate and ran down that hall. “What do we do?” Nami asked as Sanji knocked out a new guard. 

“Leave him for now. We need to worry about the majority,” I said.  I left it to the canon to find him again. Nami nodded and we were back on our way. 

Luckily the doors and hallways were large enough for the giant kids as we moved through the underground bunker. Coming up to stairs we started running up flights. Urging the kids on as they got more excited about seeing their parents again. 

After what felt like the 20th floor and 100th guard we finally came to a large door that was cracked open. Cold air leaked inside from the door. 

“Finally,” I said. “It’s gonna be a little cold guys, but we need to get out of here.” The kids weren’t listening. So close to freedom we continued to run. As we did we pushed through to see Trafalgar Law standing in the doorway. Behind him was a large group of marines. 

“What are you doing here?” I asked, surprised. I could have sworn he was on the next island too. 

He frowned, seeing me and the kids. Smoker noticed me then as well as a line of marines behind him. 

“Never mind, don’t care,” I said and ran past. Bringing up the rear Trafalgar stepped in the way of Smoker. I laughed with glee as I heated up the area around us. Then I felt my heart pound out of my chest and my vision shift.  

Turning around my view was blocked by one of the large kids. I could have sworn I was at the tail end. Movement below me I didn’t know what the hell I was looking at for a moment. Then realized it was a perfect set of tits…at my chest. I ripped open my coat, recognizing them as Nami’s beautifully bouncing breasts. 

I stopped running and the kids ran around me. My eyes bulging I stared at the glorious valley of melons until my body ran up to me. Weston slowed down, stopping a few paces away. 

“What the fuck!” My voice yelled. 

“That’s what I want to say!” I yelled back in a girlie voice. I cycled chakra into my vocal chords, making them deeper. “I’m Weston, who are you?”

“I’m Nami!” I yelled. 

“Fucking fuck! I forgot Trafalgar could do this,” I said. Moving past me I was ready to kick his ass but was stopped by me. 

“Don’t. You don’t have your body anymore,” my body said. 

I looked down. Mesmerized by the cleavage for a moment. “Fuck!” I yelled. I turned to face me. My body was moving awkwardly from foot to foot. “What’s the matter with you?”

“I don’t know,” Nami hissed. “It’s this fucking dick. It’s hard as a rock. Hurts like hell.” I looked down to see that my boner was obviously sticking as far up as it could in the pants my body was wearing. 

“Just think about shopping or baseball or something.” I turned around and noticed that the others hadn’t waited for us. “Think on Luffy for me.”

“What?” She asked. 

“Luffy or Robin, think about them. You should feel something. Point in the direction you do,” I said. Nami stopped shuffling feet. Closing her eyes she pointed ahead and to the right. “Perfect. Keep thinking about them. You should be able to guide us to them.”

Grabbing my hand I dragged my body with me after the kids. Nami struggled to run in the body. My dick flopping around in my pants she complained every step as we ran into the icy tundra of the island. 

I didn’t know what the hell was going on. Worried what skills Nami had access to I tried to mentally bring up my Status Screen, to my surprise, it worked. 

“What the shit?” I asked as I poured over it. I was glad I at least had Nen and chakra, but both felt different. I would have to test to fight with them. The other abilities sounded interesting as well. The Four Winds must have been a skill she had to help navigate us. I remembered having access to skills of those I had saved. I didn’t distinctly remember saving Nami from danger which was probably why I hadn’t seen it. 

I was a little jealous of her Bonuses though. I guessed Fist of Love added strength to when she hit the crew. I really wanted the balance bonus though. Who couldn’t use something like that? 

“How the hell do you get anything done with these flopping around?!” I yelled at her. “Your tits are all over the place!” 

“Me? I keep staring at my own tits and getting hard!” She groaned. “How the hell do you stand this thing?!” She had legitimate tears in my/her eyes. My face had a softer look to it and she already had my hair tied back in a ponytail. 

“Take out the ponytail! You’re making me look like a chick!” 

“Close my fucking jacket! I can see everything but my nipples!” I looked down and she wasn’t wrong. A weird sensation came from below. I pushed that out of my mind, I did not want to get turned on in this body. Zipping up the jacket a little we continued to run until I heard the distinct voice from ahead. 

“Oy Sanji! Over here!” Luffy yelled. I sighed in relief seeing Luffy from the mouth of a cave up the side of one of the snowy mountains. Sanji headed off in the direction and we ran up until we were all inside. 

“What the hell happened to you guys? Did you get lost?” Zoro asked as we walked in. 

“I’ll fucking kill you,” I said as I locked eyes with him. Inside was Zoro, Robin, Usopp, Luffy, and a large man with a brown beard…and an alligator lower half. “Don’t care right now,” I decided. I had too much going on to worry about some centaur/crocodile whatever. 

“What is going on with you 2?” Sanji asked as Weston’s body came in. 

“Give me a cigarette,” I growled. 

“Don’t you dare smoke in my body!” My body yelled. 

“I suddenly need something to calm myself down. Just 1, I swear,” I said.

“No!” 

“A million berries! I will give you 1 million berries to let me have 1 cigarette Nami. I haven’t smoked in so long, but I fucking need it.” Since I bought my devil fruit I didn’t care about the money as much anymore. 

“Deal,” she said quickly. 

“Thank god, Sanji, cigarette,” I said. The tall man whipped one out and was soon lighting it for me. I took a deep drag. My fingers shaking as I did. “God this is the best cigarette of my life,” I growled as I exhaled the smoke in a large plume over my head. 

“What’s going on, Nami? Since when did you smoke?” Robin asked. 

“He’s not Nami! I am!” My body yelled angrily. 

“I’m Weston,” I said, taking another drag. 

There was a long silence from those in the cave. Everyone’s gazes were locked on us as I continued to smoke. Feeling the nicotine run through my body I felt the glorious relaxing effects as I stood on wobbly legs. That was until the laughter started. I ignored it as I continued to think. Until the laughter didn’t stop and echoed through the cave as the crew let out louder fits of hysterics that they couldn’t stop. Even the kids joined in, unsure what the others were laughing about as they continued on. Only gaining momentum. 

“I’ll fucking kill all of you,” I said as I took 1 last drag of my cigarette. “Right after I kick Trafalgar’s ass.” I received another quest.