Canon Fodder

CHAPTER 230 ALLIANCE

“I’ve been working here for a few months,” Trafalgar said. Zoro and Luffy had deflated, upset we weren’t fighting. But Law had shown that we were next to a kitchen that fed the guards. There was plenty of food for Luffy to munch on and booze for Zoro to drink. The marines had opted out of the conversation as they continued on down into the laboratory.

“As a Shichibukai, Caesar was more than happy to have me as protection against outsiders that got nosy. And I was able to help a lot of his subordinates walk again,” Law said. “He has been working for years on a drug called SAD, which is used in the production of SMILE.” 

“And this facial expression is…?”

“SMILE is an artificial devil fruit,” Trafalgar admitted. “Caesar makes the SAD. He sends it off for someone else to make the SMILE. Then the SMILE is sold to the highest bidder, which happens to be one of the Yonkos.”

“Any idea which emperor?” I asked. 

“Shouldn’t your captain be part of this conversation?” Trafalgar asked. 

“You mentioned an alliance,” I said. “Luffy, should we do an alliance?” Luffy looked over with a huge chunk of meat in his mouth. He started talking then nodding, no one able to understand him as he did. 

“We are in an alliance,” I said. “That’s all Luffy cares about. The other details, not so much.”

Trafalgar frowned, but continued. “Caesar works for the Shichibukai Doflamingo.” I tried to act surprised, but it was hard. “Doflamingo, makes the SMILE, then sells it to Kaido.” 

“Yeah, makes sense,” I said. I could have sworn Kaido had a lot of devil fruit users, but I wasn’t able to remember why he had so many back in the Wano arc. I guessed I should have reread One Piece more often. When you read it week after week you tended to forget stuff that happened 300 chapters ago. At least I was putting it together now. “So what? You want to take down Doflamingo, then Kaido?”

“Uh yeah,” Trafalgar said.

“And why us? Why not Kidd or somebody?” I asked. 

“None of the other pirates really care,” Trafalgar said. “You lot have been fighting Shichibukai whenever you can. And I heard that you challenged Big Mom recently. Guessed I hoped you wouldn’t care.”

“Oh we care,” Usopp said. “Weston?! You want to start a fight with another Yonko now?!” 

“I don’t want to start anything,” I lied. “He’s the one that wants to be the Pirate King.” Luffy looked over, his attention caught for a second. “You think he can do that without fighting some emperors?” Luffy said some more words through a full mouth. It sounded like ‘that’s right’ but could have been anything. 

“So, terms of the alliance?” I asked. “You want our help to take down this Caesar guy, then Doflamingo, then take on a Yonko? What the hell do we get out of it?”

“I uh, don’t know,” Trafalgar said. “What do you want?”

“We want the spoils to start,” I said. “We decide on percentage splits of the money based on contribution. And… Luffy gets to decide when the alliance is over.” 

“What?” Trafalgar asked. 

“You heard me. Luffy gets to decide,” I said. “We have very unconventional methods. But we always come out on top. So I don’t want you to get cold feet half-way through if we start something up. You’re in it for the long haul. Luffy decides when it ends.” 

Trafalgar didn’t have much to say to that. Thinking for a while, his fingers drummed on the table between us. Trafalgar was a tall lanky man. He wore a fur hat, had short black hair and a goatee. Bags under his eyes he always looked tired. A long sword at his side I knew he was powerful though. This alliance had happened in the canon, I just wanted to make sure terms were set in place before people started bitching that we were stupid or crazy. 

“Fine,” Trafalgar said. “But first, I need your help. Before Caesar agreed to let me work here. He required collateral.” He lifted up his shirt to show that there was a cube missing out of his chest. “My heart.” 

“Damn your devil fruit power is cool,” I said, able to see through his chest where his heart should have been. “And you took that Harpy girls, right?” I asked. He nodded, pulling the heart out of his pocket. 

“If he knows I double crossed him. He will crush my heart,” Trafalgar said. 

“How much does he trust that girl?” I asked. 

“She is his secretary. Why?”

“Just working up a plan,” I said. “Captain, looks like we have a new friend.” Luffy looked over, swallowing his food he headed toward us. 

Sticking out his hand he said, “Welcome to the crew, Traf-guy.” Trafalgar frowned but they shook hands. I smiled wide, smacking the table as I thought through what needed to happen next. The marines were making a ruckus far below us as they continued to storm the place. 

—

“Caesar!” I yelled in my best impression as I flapped my wings. He wasn’t watching enough to notice the 2 small puddles of water beneath my feet. “Trafalgar double crossed us!” I closed the distance, landing beside him on the ship. 

It had taken a long time to find the guy. He had completely ditched his secretary. Opting to escape, the coward of a scientist had used the underground railroad to escape. We wouldn’t have known about it without Trafalgar. They used the small railroad to send out the SAD for shipment. 

“What!? I knew I shouldn’t have trusted that bastard,” Caesar extended his gaseous hand out. Pulling on a secret compartment door a cube shaped heart was revealed. As the man grabbed it I pulled out the Seastone Jitte. Moving as quickly as possible it was simple enough to knock him over the head with it. He dropped to the ground and I caught the heart before it landed next to him. 

Releasing the jutsu I took the controls of the small ship and turned us around. A few of the others were waiting for me as I got back. I threw the heart to Trafalgar. His eyes bulged as he struggled to catch it. Then it was safe and sound, mounted in his chest. 

“Dammit, I had a joke, now I can’t remember,” I said. “Something about breaking your heart.” 

“Uh try not to lose it again?” Nami offered. 

“Close but no.” 

“Be careful who you give your heart to next time,” Robin said. 

“Oh I like that. That’s a good one,” I said. 

“Very funny,” Trafalgar mumbled. “That was quicker than expected.” He threw a set of seastone cuffs to me. I put them on a still passed out Fart. They would prevent him from turning into gas and running away, just as they had prevented Ash in Impel Down. These Logia Devil Fruit users were basically useless against seastone. Thus they were useless against me. 

“What are we going to do with him?” I asked. “Stick him in a perfume bottle? No wait, no, a genie lamp. He’s basically like a genie already.” 

“No,” Trafalgar said. The guy had no sense of humor but I still liked him. His backstory was tragic, and despite being a pirate I was pretty sure he was doing this to make the world a better place. No thanks needed, just taking out the trash. He was my kind of partner. “Let’s get everything else squared away and I’ll fill you in.”

I nodded and we were off. We got the kids back. Trafalgar’s devil fruit power was invaluable in dealing with them. He had eaten the Operation Devil Fruit. With it he was able to create a field/area around himself. Within that area he could cut away parts of people without harming them. He didn’t explain how he was able to switch our minds around, but it made more sense how he was able to attach alligator legs to Brownbeard. 

Once he had the kids in his field he could cut away the addictive qualities of the drugs they were under. I let them up from the Genjutsu and they were soon crying for their parents. 

The marines took them under their protection and we said our goodbyes. I was then able to torment my research assistant. After making a shadow clone he went after the guy mercilessly. Chasing him around the halls until he was crying and begging me not to kill him. During that time we robbed the place for what it was worth, which wasn’t much. Then Trafalgar had us moving to our next destination. 

“Traffy,” Doflamingo said over the denden mushi. His voice was grating to my ears. I couldn’t stand the guy in the manga. Way too strong, I almost had as much fear of him as I did Hisoka. The guy felt impossibly strong for some reason, but I knew we would get him. 

“Cut the shit, Doflamingo,” Trafalgar said. “By now you are on Punk Hazard and can see that your lab is in shambles. We have Caesar-” 

“Fart, his name is Fart,” I said quickly. Caesar yelled from behind the tape over his mouth. Trying to get out of his seastone bracelets again, but I kicked him away.

“We have Caesar,” Trafalgar said, glaring at me. I gave him my best smile. “We won’t be giving him back unless you give up your position as a Shichibukai. Today.” The area was silent as he said it. The voice from the denden mushi as well. 

Then Doflamingo started yelling, “Now see here you little shit. It’s been a long time since you-” 

“You see here,” Trafalgar said. “Caesar dies, tomorrow, if I don’t see an announcement in the paper that you quit being a Shichibukai.” He slammed the shell back on the denden mushi and dropped it to the floor. Anger flaring in him he took a moment to collect himself. 

“Cool, Luffy he knows how to piss Shichibukai’s off as much as you do,” I said. 

“What? I’m way better at it,” Luffy said, offended. “There was Crocodile.”

“And Moira,” Usopp added. 

“Zoro pissed off Mihawk I’m sure.” 

“Buggy sure hates you too,” I offered. 

“Buggy?” 

“Yeah, he’s a Shichibukai now. Kuma pissed me off,” I grumbled. That pain thing was something I planned to pay back. Despite him helping us escape, I hoped to kick that android’s ass, er cyborg, or whatever.

“You’re right, Jimbei was pretty pissed at you,” I said. “He didn’t want to join the crew because of something you said I’m sure.” 

“That wasn’t it!” Luffy said angrily. “He had to quit Big Mom’s crew!” 

“And you believed him? He just didn’t know how to say no politely,” I said.

“I’m gonna kick your ass,” Luffy said. “Hell, no wonder Hancock was always pissed off at you all the time,” Luffy said. “Always yelling your name.” 

“Oh, well I don’t think she was angry at me when she was yelling my name,” I said. 

“I still can’t believe you married her,” Luffy said. 

The others got quiet around us. “Oh, did I not mention that to you guys?” I asked the men of the crew. 

“You what?!” Sanji roared. “You married the Pirate Empress?!”

“Shhh, not in front of the Shichibukai,” I said, nudging my head at Trafalgar.

“You married, Boa Hancock?” Trafalgar asked. 

“Well…yeah, about 2 years ago now,” I admitted. “It was a small ceremony. Silvers Rayleigh gave her away.” 

“I was the best man,” Luffy said proudly. 

“The Dark King was at your wedding?!” Trafalgar asked, some emotion finally showing on his face. 

“Why the hell am I just hearing about you marrying the most beautiful woman in the world?!” Sanji yelled. “I thought Luffy went to her island.” 

“He did, then I ran to it. That’s how we went to Impel Down.” I turned to Trafalgar. “If you thought you were leaving this alliance, you’re wrong. Luffy, never say he can leave.”

“You can’t leave,” Luffy said without hesitation. 

“Perfect,” I said. “So this was back when I was running from the marines. When you guys went up Reverse Mountain, remember?”

“I don’t,” Chopper offered. 

“Before your time…should we start at the beginning?”

“Oh me,” Luffy said. “So I grew up with my brother and sister on this island. We promised not to head out to sea until we were old enough…wait Weston. You promised I’d see Sabo again. When was that?” 

“Are we headed to Dressrosa next?” I asked Trafalgar.

“Uuhhh that was my plan,” he said. 

“Yeah, no you should see him on Dressrosa,” I assured.

“Perfect,” Luffy said. “So after that time my grandpa attached all these balloons to me and sent me flying off into the sunset, he sent me to live with these bandits. That’s where I met my sister Ashley and brother Sabo.”

“Sanji do we have any popcorn?” I whispered, sitting on the grass like some of the others. 

“I’ll go make some,” he said as he got up. 

“Can I have dessert?” “Oh me too?” Chopper and Usopp yelled. Sanji nodded and headed inside. Keeping the door open to listen in. I sat in front of Nami. Leaning back she opened her legs and I rested my head on her perfect pillows as Luffy continued the story. Like everything on the ship it was random and filled with laughs and interruptions, but like always, it was a good time. 

It got to Zoro’s part pretty quick, but he was asleep so Nami had to fill in for him. Then Usopp told his tale. Finally it was my turn but by that time Brook was playing music, Luffy started complaining how his stomach was empty, and we forgot all about the story as a storm started to blow in.