Canon Fodder

CHAPTER 284 KAME HOUSE

“Why the hell do you need me?” Yamcha asked as we got off the plane. 

“We had a deal, Yamcha,” I said. “I got you a girl. Not my fault if you can’t close the deal.”

“Close the deal?” He asked, confused. Sasuke’s face was no longer on, he was far less confident. “She was nice, but I doubted she would have wanted to go further.”

“Dude, she came back with us to our hotel room,” I said. “Of course she was willing to go further.” I didn’t bother to tell him I’d paid her to sleep with him. 

“No way. She was just nice,” Yamcha said as we walked through the small airport. 

“Yamcha…” I said with a sigh. “Nevermind. Just stick to the deal.”

“Yeah, but why do you want to go to Kame House?” He asked. 

“You said you couldn’t sense any Chi in me-“ I said but was cut off. 

“Ki, it’s ki,” he corrected. 

“Whatever,” I said. “I’d like Master Roshi to tell me why.”

“That old perv. Good luck with that,” Yamcha mumbled. “His place is about 100 miles that way.”

“Cool, we uh gonna run or…” 

“Screw that,” he said. “I’m not in a hurry and still hungover.”

“Fine,” I growled. Making water-chakra, I pooled the puddle in front of me and froze it. “Jump on.”

“I’ve seen a lot of weird skills. But this takes the cake,” Yamcha said as he studied the large disc. “How do you do it? I feel energy, but it’s different.”

“Doesn’t matter. Come on,” I said, stepping onto it. He whispered under his breath but got on. I lifted us up in the air and flew us in the direction he pointed. 

Trees everywhere, we flew in silence. The landscape changed to a mix of sand and trees as we ate the miles away. 

“How long since you’ve been back here?”

“2 years or so,” he said. “Bulma better not be here.”

“What the hell man. You know she’s just a chick. If she doesn’t want you, why would you want her?”

“She and I are meant to be together. You don’t know her. One second she is…” he continued on. I could hear the love in his voice. It was pretty awkward. 

I felt a little bad knowing she’d dump him for an alien prince. I was never a big fan of Bulma or Chichi. If things stuck to canon, Vegeta could have her in my book. Although I did want to get close to her. I just didn’t want to risk Trunks not being born. 

We flew over the ocean, Yamcha still babbling on as we sped up. Eventually I saw it far ahead. A little island only about 75 feet across there was a small pink house with a red roof on it. Small porch out front I didn’t see anyone outside, but as we drew closer I could feel him. 

“Master Roshi!” Yamcha yelled as he jumped off the ice. “Roshi! Come out.” I landed and made a move to go inside but Yamcha’s hand stopped me. 

“Never go into Roshi’s house,” he said. 

“What? Why?” I asked. 

“Feels like he’s alone,” Yamcha said, getting serious. “The old man is a little…pervy.”

“Yeah so,” I said. This wasn’t news to me. 

“He is usually doing…you know.”

“What?” 

“Doing stuff,” Yamcha said, blushing. “He lives alone…”

“Wh-Oh seriously?” I asked surprised. “He’s jerking it?”

“Don’t say that,” Yamcha groaned, uncomfortable. “If no one’s here he spends his time looking at magazines. It’s best to wait for him to come out, trust me.”

“Well shit,” I said, staring at the screened door. I could feel strong Spiritual Energy. I tuned out what the Energy felt like. “How longs it usually take for him to-“

“I’ve waited out here over an hour before,” Yamcha admitted. He sat on the beach and looked out onto the ocean. I considered just barging in, but I wanted to make a good impression. 

“What can you tell me about Ki?” I asked as I sat down next to him. 

“What do you want to know?”

“How’d you learn it? How do you use it? What the hell is it?” I asked. 

“Hmm,” Yamcha said as he leaned back. A far cry from the drunk I found he still had his hair slicked to the side. Almost a real professional human being next to me I was more willing to accept his words. 

“I was a bandit when I was younger. 16 maybe. I was pretty strong but then ran into Bulma and her friend. The kid freaking kicked my ass.” I nodded. Goku did that to pretty much all of his friends. 

“After that I decided to become stronger. I was obsessed with wolves. Went into the mountains. Trained like crazy. I made this move. Wolf-fang fist. I focused all my strength when I was using the move. I went to the World’s Martial Arts Tournament. I thought I was strong then. What a joke,” he chuckled to himself. 

“I fought Master Roshi. Did my Wolf-fang fist. The old man did the same move against me, only about twice as strong after seeing it once. He kicked my ass. After that I begged him to train me. I was strong, but most all of what I knew was self taught. He trained me how to channel my Ki. Focus strength. Become truly strong.”

“So what is it? Ki?”

“Life energy was how he talked about it,” Yamcha said. “Your strength. Not everyone can use or access it. First you train to use it in your body. To strengthen yourself. You only have so much energy. It’s easy to make the mistake of using it all in a punch. Then you're SOL if something happens.”

“When you’re good enough you can actually push it out of your body,” Yamcha said. Extending his hand out a bright blue ball appeared then shot out over the water. I had witnessed it and was surprised to find that it was like his Haki had left him. But I hadn’t sensed his spiritual energy shift or lessen whatsoever. I wasn’t sure what the hell was going on. 

“How about a spar,” I said standing up. “I’m curious how I stack up.”

“Been a while since I’ve fought,” Yamcha admitted. “But sure.”

I moved a few paces away and began to access my powers. I remembered a scene in Dragonball where Yamcha and Krillin were running along a car while they trained for the Martial Arts Tournament. The cars speedometer was a few hundred kilometers per hour. And they sped past it. I wasn’t near that speed. Unsure if that was just in the anime or actual canon, I hoped I could keep up. 

Yamcha stiffened his body and I felt his Spiritual Energy shift. Jumping up a level I guessed he was powering up or focusing his energy. 

“Let’s see what you’re made of,” Yamcha said with a smirk. I nodded and jumped at him. He met me halfway, catching me off guard. 

A smile on his lips, he blocked my punch. I stuck to physical strength but he caught my hand. I had been confident in the amount of strength my body had. But it wasn’t a problem for him to hold me back. 

I pulled away and kicked only to meet his foot again. Toying with me, Yamcha blocked every blow I threw. Punches, kicks, nut shots, eye gouges. It didn’t matter what I did. I wasn’t fast or strong enough. 

I poured chakra into my body and caught him off guard. His face scrunching with effort as he blocked it my pride soared, but then he hit me. 

It was like a freight train. He was in my defense and punched me hard across the face. Saliva shot out of my mouth as I saw stars. Gritting my teeth I added Haki into the mix. 

This time I connected with his pec. I felt him pushed back slightly, but it wasn’t enough. Close to him I put Nen in my other fist and punched him as hard as I could. He reacted by kicking the side of my head. 

Before I knew it was spitting up sand. “You’re not so bad,” Yamcha said as he walked around me. “Not sure about that power. But it’s strong.”

“Thanks,” I said, getting back up. It was time to use all 3. I focused Haki in my arms, my lifeforce/Nen in my fists, and Chakra everywhere. I moved to him with all the speed I had. His hand blocked my knee and swatted me away. 

Grabbing my own hands I did a piledriver down but he leaned back, forcing me to go with my momentum. Kicking up, I barely blocked it and threw myself backwards. Only to go forward again. 

My punch connected with his side and he yelled out. His fist met my chin and I felt my teeth crack from the force of it. My body twisting I kicked out and sent a burst of power toward him. My chakra pushing against his body he flew back. 

The fight continued. Getting more ferocious as he took me seriously with each blow. But he met everything I had to throw at him. He started bringing Ki into the mix so I guessed he was struggling. 

A ball of energy hit me in the chest. I was thrown to the other side of the island but pushed it away from me before I hit the water. Cursing as more sand covered me I pulled at my Tremor Fruit. The sand began to shake as vibrations leaked out of me. 

Yelling I threw myself at him. My arm drawing back I channeled all of my power. Tremors shooting out of my hand I stopped in time as the old voice yelled, “what the hell is going on out here?!”

My and Yamcha’s fists stopping a little away from the others' faces I breathed in and out heavily. Winded from the short exchange of attacks. 

“Master Roshi,” Yamcha said, stepping forward. “This is Weston. He was interested in training and I-“

“You thought to volunteer me?” The old man asked, annoyed. He was as I imagined. Average height. Bald head, fluffy white beard, sunglasses, Hawaiian shirt, and a turtle shell on his back. “I quit doing that sort of thing a long time ago.”

“Yeah, but he has a little problem. I wasn’t sure if you could take a look,” Yamcha said. Nervous in front of the old man. Roshi eyed me. I couldn’t help but notice that he was in his boxer shorts. A little awkward I stared back, trying to show confidence. 

“I see,” Roshi said as he turned away. “I know your problem.”

“You do?!” I asked, more excited about the news than I expected. “What is it?”

“Unlike these idiot students of mine. I don’t do things for free,” Roshi said, turning around quickly. “I will have a price.”

That’s when I remembered Launch. Roshi had demanded Krillin and Goku find him a girlfriend before he let them become students. 

“How about 5 hours in heaven?” I offered as I pulled my Chikyugi necklace out of my status screen. Luckily I knew how to handle perverts. 

Roshi was soon in my Makuramoto. 100 women to feed and fawn over him for a few hours would loosen his tongue. 

“What’d you do?” Yamcha asked as we stood over the old man. The pervy guy had a huge smile on his face as he laughed in the Genjutsu.

“Just an illusion,” I said. “He will be out in a moment. Thanks for the fight. How much of your strength did you have yo use?”

“Honestly? I was about to hit you with most of it,” he admitted. 

“Really?” I asked, more than pleased. 

“Yeah, not sure if I should be training you. You might want to talk to Tien or-“

“No!” Roshi said as he opened his eyes. “Where are the girls?!” 

“They’re there,” I assured the old man as I rested my hand on his shoulder. “I’ll send you back if you tell me my problem.”

“You have no Ki,” he blurted. Grabbing the necklace he pushed his face up to it as if he could push his way into the world I made for him. “Send me back!” 

“I don’t have Ki?” I asked. I grabbed the old man’s shoulder forcing him to face me. “What the hell do you mean? I’m strong. I have life energy.”

“You do,” the old man admitted. “But yours is broken.”

“Broken? Calm it down and I’ll make it 200 women this time. Explain slowly.”

Roshi grumbled but got more excited as he sat up. “Okay. Your body has energy. But it’s almost…corrupted. Your body has no talent to move Ki. I can feel you’re strong. So you’ve persevered. But where others take a year to learn how to channel ki. Yours would take a century.”

“Fuck,” I said turning around. Thinking back to my old life in DBZ World I’d been the youngest son of the dojo master. My older brothers had made fun of and jeered at me as it took every bit of effort to try to catch up to them. But I never succeeded. 

Back when I originally got to the world I assumed it would be a simple bit of extra effort to catch up. Apparently the body was doomed. 

“Is there no hope of me learning?” I asked, Roshi. 

“A miracle. But your bodies all wrong. I’m surprised you’re as strong as you are,” he admitted. “Now send me back.” I lifted the necklace and he went off to a blissful world. 

“What are you going to do?” Yamcha asked as I walked away. I wasn’t in the mood to talk. Heading to the water I stared out to the ocean as I thought. 

Was my adventure in DBZ already over? I had hoped to get to training. Bulk up whatever was needed to start using Ki. But he’ll I’d gone to Naruto and could use chakra, One Piece and could sense my Haki. There was a reason I couldn’t sense Ki, it simply wasn’t there or was too unruly to handle with my body type. 

My mind tried to come up with what to do. My adventure was coming to a close and I had only about 28 days until my next challenge. I had hoped to learn Ki to figure out if I wanted to use a Challenger Slot on it. It was time to rethink my plans. 

That was until I remembered where I was. “Dragon Ball Z…” I said slowly. The answer was right in front of me the whole time. With that a quest popped up. 

Dragon Ball Z Quest 1:

Collect all 7 Dragon Balls.

Rewards:

Item Choice