I Don't Want to Be Loved

Chapter 223 – Wishes coming true

Translator – Yue

After listening to Mrs. Cessly’s words, Igor immediately hopped on a horse and sprang to port. This time there was no Basil by his side, it was just him. While he galloped top speed, the events from these past six years came to his mind.

When he arrived, the ship had already sailed. He was too late, again.

He felt an empty space in his heart. He got down his exhausted horse and slowly walked to the edge of the beach. He had a desperate expression on his face.

He stood there looking at the horizon when he felt something hot. There were hot tears trailing down his face. All the tears he’d held back all this time suddenly broke free.

Despair and desolation surged from inside him. He sobbed and cried.

Six years ago, when he’d missed her just like this, he’d managed to hold back his tears since there was still hope of seeing her again in the future. Instead of desolation, he turned his back to this very sea with the hopes of seeing her again soon.

However, this time it was different. More than anything else, he regretted not telling her once how much he loved her. All this time, he never told her his feelings. Just as Mrs. Cessly had said, if he had told her properly how he felt for her, he would not be feeling so desperate now.

Why didn’t he tell her how charming and beautiful she was to him? How precious she was in his eyes. If he had told her that, maybe she…

The whole world was dyed blood. Igor simply stood there looking at the blood-red sunset in the horizon without bothering to wipe his tears. He did not know for sure how long he stood there.

Suddenly, the sound of footsteps behind him awoke him from his reverie.

“Igor.”

His body froze. Feeling an extreme tension, he slowly turned around. He saw the blurry silhouette of a woman.

“…”

A woman with white face wearing a black hood that covered her from head to toe. A very different attire compared to what she was wearing when she left the Palace. A few strands of her silver hair were waving freely in the wind, highlighting her hooded face. Her face had a surprised expression. Her silver eyelashes batted many times as she looked at him.

Igor was convinced that this was an hallucination. Or maybe he was dreaming right now. There was no other explanation. She could not possibly be here. Her ship had sailed.

“Igor?”

After hearing her voice one more time, Igor felt he was regaining his consciousness again, little by little. A tear dangling from his chin fell to the ground. He could not believe his eyes, so he remained staring at her, incredulous.

“Are you… crying?”

Rihannan approached him. She reached out her hand and wiped the tears that were falling down his chin. When he felt her cold fingers touching his skin, Igor unvoluntarily quivered. He grabbed her hand.

“How is this possible?!”

Besides, why was she here, unaccompanied? Where were her guards?

Thinking of that, fury and worry immediately expanded in his heart.

“What happened?! Why didn’t you board the ship?! Why are you alone, here?! Do you know how dangerous it is?!”

“Well… After getting on the ship, I got off. Well, to be more precise, the ship did leave port but I asked them to turn around. I told them that it would be fine and to please leave again since I did not want to delay its passengers any longer. Of course, I left them with a message for my cousin and uncle.”

Igor was dumbstruck. He could not understand what she was saying, so he looked at her with his mouth open.

“What are you saying? Did you leave the ship?”

“Well…”

After struggling for words, Rihannan bit her lips as though she’d reached a decision.

“I think there are still some things you haven’t told me.”

“What…”

“The words that were written on your letter. The words you never said to me properly! It isn’t enough to explain things clearly in a letter!”

Rihannan waved the paper she held in her hand. It was the enveloped he’d order the Guard’s Commander to give to her once she boarded her ship to Chrichton. The letter containing the golden feather.

“If you have something to say to me, say it to my face rather than writing it in a letter. If you want something so desperately, then rather than asking this feather, ask me directly. Me, a real human being. Who knows! I might not be Ataraxia, nor even a semi-goddess. I may only be a simply human, but I might be able to grant you that wish of yours, you know?”

Still looking at Rihannan entranced, Igor let go of her hand and took the envelop. He took out its contents. Under the red light of the sun, the golden feathered shined like a jewel.

This time he was confident his wish would finally come true. The wish that had been rejected the first time he asked would now come true.

“Rihannan, my love.”

Igor looked at Rihannan. The beautiful woman that came from the neighboring country with her shining blue eyes and mesmerizing silver hair. He looked at the person he cherished above anything else in the world with devotion.

“Can this foolish man hope that you, the one I love…”

He knelt on the ground still holding the golden feather with both hands.

“will stay by my side, forever?”

Rihannan burst into tears and practically leapt into his arms. Igor held her firmly in his arms. While caressing her silver hair with one hand, he kissed her deeply. As their tongues intertwined, their tears also merged in their kiss. It was a salty kiss, and the sweetest they’ve ever shared.

“Rihannan, Rihannan, Rihannan.”

After breaking their kiss, Igor kept calling her name over and over again. Rihannan could hear it in his voice now, how much he loved calling her name.

“I love you, Rihannan.”

He wasn’t hiding his feelings anymore. He kept kissing her and telling her he loved her numerous times. Rihannan replied in a shaking voice.

“I love you, too.”

Before, when she didn’t know that Igor retained his past life memories as well, Rihannan vowed that she would not fall for him in this marriage again. She would keep her heart locked to him. However, her resolve quickly crumbled to pieces.

Her heart ached again. She soon noticed that her eyes and ears kept following him once more. She tried justifying herself by saying that the Igor now was completely different from the Igor of her past life. She did not want to admit to herself that she loved him still.

“Even back then, when I thought you’d betrayed me… even when I hated you completely, a part of me could never stop loving you.”

In her past life, Rihannan was sure that she did not deserve anyone’s love, which was why she could give up her life so easily. However, she now knew that all this time there was one man who loved her more than anyone else in the whole world.

Igor held her hips while he continued pouring sweet kisses on her.

“Since my wish has finally been granted, from now on you cannot leave my side.”

In the end, no God nor any other unknown existence had the power to genuinely grant him his heart’s deepest desire. It was not divine power that moved another person, but one’s sincere words and actions.

As the sun began to set, the two of them sat side by side in the port looking at the last reddish rays of sunlight disappearing. Igor took off his jacket and place it on Rihannan’s shoulders. He was still worried that she might catch a cold so he pulled her close and warmed her with his own body.

They talked in whispers.

“How did you know that I’d run after you?”

“I thought you’d definitely chase after me this time again, just like you did till now. Now I’ve learned about how you feel about me, after all.”

Igor laughed merrily.

“But, what would you have done if I did not show up? Were you thinking on boarding another ship to Chrichton?”

“No. There are many carriage services around here, so I was thinking of taking one to my residency and spending the night there. I’d go to the Palace afterwards. You should be grateful. Had I not walked back here, it would have been harder for you to find me.”

Igor laughed again and kissed her on the temples.

“Mrs. Cessly would have probably kicked me out of the Palace before that. She did say that she’d have kicked my ass if I were her son.”

Igor caressed Rihannan’s face while he placed his own chin on her hair. When the moonlight started spreading everywhere, they heard the melodic voices of the sailors around them. The songs mixed with the sounds of waves crashing did not seem melancholic anymore.

Grrrrrrr.

Igor heard a sudden noise that was not coming from him. It was Rihannan. Apparently, the noise was coming from her stomach.