My Dearest General: It Has Always Been You

The back of Shi Nian's head and neck throbbed in pain.

The light sprinkled into the room from between the gaps of the curtain, Shi Nian grimaced in pain and it took her a moment to realize where she was and what she was doing before she lost consciousness.

Her heart thudded, she flung her blanket away and sat up…

The door slid open, bringing with it a thick scent of tobacco and Xu Binchen's hoarse voice. "Awake?"

Shi Nian looked up in shock, and her heart settled down as the man came in. She panted softly and reached for the cup on the nightstand and finished it in a few large gulps.

Xu Binchen didn't move, only looking at her from a distance. His eyes were hard and indecipherable, but Shi Nian didn't notice anything because she was still recovering from the shock.

She heaved a huge sigh and kneaded her sore neck.

"What's wrong?" The man fiddled with his lighter. "Does it hurt?"

Shi Nian grunted as she rotated her neck. She shot an inquiring look at him. What had happened to her? How did she end up in bed? The last thing she remembered…

Color drained from Shi Nian's face and she shivered as if she was deserted somewhere in Antarctica.

"Remember now?" Xu Binchen approached her and pressed onto the nurse button. "How do you feel?"

Shi Nian opened her mouth but she was so terrified that she couldn't even let out a squeak. He's here…he's finally here to kill me…

In less than ten seconds, the door slid open again and this time, there were many familiar faces. Doctor Chun, Nurse Zhang and other nurses she had seen before. Xu Binchen stepped back and let Doctor Chun do a series of tests on her.

Shi Nian was as fit as a fiddle, there was nothing wrong with her except the bruise on the back of her neck. She had just gone through a huge shock and required a lot of rest.

Doctor Chun especially called Xu Binchen out and warned him. "Don't question her now. Her mental state is more fragile than ever, we need Psychiatrist Yu to come and examine her first before you are allowed to do anything."

Xu Binchen's head was lowered and he let out a sigh.

Then, all of sudden, a loud crash sounded in the room, followed by the nurse's surprised cry. Xu Binchen's face changed abruptly as he slammed the door open to see Nurse Zhang being shut out of the bathroom. "Shi Nian? Shi Nian?! What's wrong?!" She knocked on the door, and inside, water was running and the sound of Shi Nian vomiting was transferred out intermittently.

Doctor Chun gasped in shock. "What's wrong?"

The food that was prepared for Shi Nian was scattered all over the floor and the soup splashed onto the bed. Even the tray was thrown pitifully upside down.

"I don't know!" Nurse Zhang was flustered. "I was just putting breakfast in front of her when she suddenly run to the bathroom and vomit."

Xu Binchen frowned and crossed the room to arrive in front of the bathroom. He knocked louder, almost banging the door down. He pressed on the handle to find the door locked. "Shi Nian? What happened?"

The sound of her vomiting stopped and two soft knocks answered him but Shi Nian didn't come out yet.

Nurse Zhang added, "Shi Nian? Do you feel unwell? Open the door please so that I can look at you?"

Shi Nian didn't answer this time, but two minutes later, the bathroom door creaked open to show Shi Nian's frighteningly pale face with the rims of her eyes reddened. She heaved dryly, water dripped down from the tip of her hair and her face was wet.

Nurse Zhang hurriedly grabbed a clean towel and offered it to her. She supported Shi Nian's weak body to sit on the couch, away from the soiled floor. Shi Nian lowered her eyes in daze, her thin figure looked especially pitiful.

Doctor Chun frowned and exchanged glances with Xu Binchen. As far as he knew, Shi Nian wasn't allergic to anything. He scrutinized the food on the floor. White rice, potato soup, light flavored steamed duck and stir fry asparagus…there wasn't anything wrong.

Nurse Zhang went out to get a cup of warm, sweet, honey water. When Shi Nian drank it, the sweet liquid travelled down her throat and washed away the astringent and bitter taste. Her cramping stomach felt better and she sighed in relief.

Her gaze trailed to the food on the floor and she lowered her head further. [Sorry.]

Nurse Zhang worked fast, she cleaned up the food and changed the soiled bed sheet, then she smiled gently at her. "Don't worry about it. Are you hungry? Let me get you another food?"

Shi Nian's mind floated to the pieces of thin, sliced duck that was reddish brown in color and she was instantly reminded of the bloody pieces of flesh served in the plate in her memory and the taste of disgusting, rusty blood in her cavity…

Another wave of nausea washed through her. She gripped her board tighter until her knuckles turned white and shook her head.

Nurse Zhang titled her head worriedly. "Then, how about a bowl of plain porridge? Just one small bowl. Even if you can't stomach anything, you still have to eat something, okay?"

Under Nurse Zhang's insistence, she nodded briefly.

The nurse then went out, leaving only the three of them behind.

Doctor Chun approached and sat in front of her. "Shi Nian, do you feel uncomfortable anywhere?"

Shi Nian hesitated and shook her head. She couldn't possibly tell him…that she remembered how she was forced to eat raw meat and that meat seemed like human meat that had just been cut from the person, still dripping with blood that was on the verge of coagulation…

Even remembering it caused chills to rise up from the soles of her feet up to her limbs. From now on, every time she looked at red meat, she would be reminded of that memory. She didn't know whether she would be able to stomach any red meat for the rest of her life. It was truly traumatic…

No…was that really her memory? What had she done? How could…How could she eat that?

Doctor Chun was as patient and gentle as ever, his gaze was akin to a grandfather who looked at his mischievous granddaughter. "You have to tell me if there's anywhere uncomfortable okay?" Shi Nian nodded in response and Doctor Chun added, "Is your stomach better?"

Shi Nian pointed at the honey water and nodded. Because she had just consumed something warm and sweet, her empty stomach felt a lot better after vomiting gastric acid.

"Well, then that's good. Try to eat a few spoonfuls of porridge Nurse Zhang brought later. You can rest for a while. Don't worry, Detective Xu will be here with you, right?" The last word was directed toward the man who had been standing by the window.

Xu Binchen grunted, his eyes narrowed as he scrutinized Shi Nian deeply.